Dating Diaries: Wait For It

I emailed Mom to ask where she wanted to go for Mother’s Day, suggesting that we go out on Saturday to avoid the Sunday crowds.

“I’d love a good steak,” she emailed back. “Maybe Applebee’s?”

 “We’re not going to %$^$** Applebee’s,” I emailed back. “But I will take you out for a steak dinner.”

I made a reservation at one of the best steakhouses in Greensboro. The service was impeccable and our waiter was a very handsome gentleman, one of those silver foxes who could be 55 or an extremely well preserved 65. For the record, my mom, at 72, could easily pass for 62.

The conversation turned to dating and I encouraged her to get out there. She waved me away.

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Dating Diaries: I’ll Pass On The Polyamorous

POLYAMOROUS (as defined by Urban Dictionary): The state of having multiple sexually or romantically committed relationships at the same time, with the consent of all partners involved.

POLYAMOROUS (as defined by me): Asking for trouble.

NOTE: This is not my story to tell, other than a fact that I was a witness to it. You know if this happened to me that I’d have no issue calling it out. So thanks to my friend with enough self-confidence and a sense of humor to allow me to share her story here. 

Let’s set the scene. My friend is a stunningly beautiful woman, who annoys me to no end by also being smart, funny and sexy. (I don’t need the competition.) She's recently out of a long-term relationship and was introduced to an  (ahem!) much younger guy who expressed immediate interest

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Fluffing and Flushing

Place: The early morning coffee circle at my gym

Cast: The group of retirees I hang with, including a gay couple who have been together for more than twenty years. 

The topic under discussion: Yard work

We got on the topic of yard work because I asked the couple where they'd been that they were so tan. 

"Oh, we're just out in our yard," said one man. "No one's yard looks better than ours. No one's.

"We fluff our pine needles weekly," said the other man. 

HIs partner nodded agreement. "Oh yes. I mean, if people drive by and your pine needles aren't fluffed, they'll probably assume you're not flushing either. We can't have that." 

Oh. My. God. I died laughing. 

Happy Friday,

Dena

 

Late Night

A couple of my girlfriends came over last night, just to hang out, watch movies, talk and drink wine. We ended up skipping the movie and focused more on the talking and wine drinking, catching up on each other's lives.

We'd been talking for a couple of hours when one of the women looked at her watch and said, "Oh my gosh, it's 9:40. It's getting late." My other friend jumped up and started collecting plates and wine glasses. 

I looked at them with tears in my eyes.

"I love you guys so much," I said. "9:40 pm and you think it's late. You are SO my people." 

We all travel to the beach together in the summer and it's perfect because we're all the same age and all on the same schedule. Up early, bed early. If we make it past 11 p.m. we congratulate each other on a long and rowdy night. 

Laugh now, but this is your future. 

Cheers,

Dena