Smug Marrieds: Careful, Lest We Summon It

Updated on Monday, February 6, 2012 at 9:15 PM by Dena Harris

Blair came downstairs a few minutes ago after having been up in his office talking to my mom on the phone about an issue with her furnace. (The issue being that it's decided to stop working.)

"Your mom's going to come by tomorrow," he said. 

"Okay," I answered, then asked jokingly, "So, were you guys talking about me?"

"No." 

"Well, why not?"

"You're like Voldemort," said Blair. "We try not to say your name aloud, lest we summon it." 

Anyone else deal with this sort of thing in their marriages? Anyone...?? 

Cheers,

Dena

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Smug Marrieds: Walk The Line

Blair and I walked to the library on Saturday. It was a beautiful day, sunny and in the 50's. Blair found a book of short stories and I always stockpile 3-4 books so I have something to chose from, depending on my mood.

As we leave the library, Blair is carrying the books but at some point he needed to find something in his wallet so he handed them to me to carry and I just never gave them back. After a few minutes, he looked over at me, frowning.

"What?" I asked. 

"Something doesn't seem right. Hang on." He took several quick strides so he was walking about three paces ahead of me. Or rather, I was walking three steps behind him. 

"There. That's more like it," he said over his shoulder. "And I'll expect you to get my dinner started when we get home, woman."

I'll say it again. I married a funny, funny guy. 

Cheers,

Dena

Smug Marrieds: The Mouse

This morning started out productive enough. I woke up early, at 4:30 am, in full domestic mode. By 5:30 I had chicken baking in the oven and stuffed peppers simmering in the crock pot, the dishwasher was loaded and running, and I was working on a second load of laundry. Satisfied that I was using enough electricity to power a small orbiting space station, I headed into the bathroom to get my shower. And that's when I saw it. 

"BLAIR!" I screamed, my emergency broadcast system in full mode. "BLAIR! BLAIR! BLAIR!"

He came bursting into the bathroom, sure someone was murdering me. "WHAT?! WHAT?!"

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Smug Marrieds: Coupon King

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before, but I married Coupon King.

Maybe it's the CPA in him or maybe it's just the instinctual male urge to hunt and conquer, but Blair can track down a bargain like nobody's business. He'll leave the house at 8 am on a Sunday to get to CVS when it opens so he can swoop up armfuls of Kleenex tissue or Maxwell House Coffee on sale. Going through the aisles of the grocery store, I stand and watch him perform Nobel Peace prize worthy mathematical computations to figure out whether the canned peas on sale are a deal or a dud. And always the southern gentleman, bargain hunting mode is one of the few times Blair will knock old ladies aside to get to what he wants. 

I'm always in favor of a bargain but not willing to put in the work Blair does. If it's there in front of me and it's a decent enough price, I buy it.

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BE CALM

This past weekend as Blair and I were driving up to Wintergreen, VA, I noticed the personalized license plate on the car in front of us. 

"BE CALM," I read aloud.

"Advised the people driving the Lexus LX Suv," added Blair, eyeing the upscale black vehicle the plate hung on. 

We had a chuckle over it, passed them (that's what you get for being calm) and continued on our way. 

Flash forward to our drive home from Wintergreen.

"Look over there," said Blair, motioning to the lane next to us. 

Guess who? That's right, BE CALM was back beside us, returning from wherever they'd been at the exact same hour that we were. 

"No way," I said. "What are the odds? Obviously the Universe wants us to BE CALM." 

"I'm calm," said Blair. "Are you calm?"

"I was calm until I saw the BE CALM plate," 'I said. "Now, honestly, I'm a little freaked out." 

Nothing else to add. Just one of those asides that makes you think a bit and wonder if life is random or are things planned. What's your take on it?

Cheers,

Dena