Never Feed A Cat Grape Benadryl®

By Dena Harris

When examining an ailing animal, it's vital one be calm, levelheaded, and not concede to overreaction. Luckily, I'm one of those rare individuals able to remain composed in the face of any emergency.

I demonstrated this skill when our cat became ill. We heard her firing off bazooka-rounds of sneezes. My husband and I came on the run. I took charge.

"Oh my God, she's dying!" I wailed, flinging myself on the cat and wrapping her in a stifling embrace. "Dying!" I started to cry.

My husband ran a slow hand down his face. "Maybe it's just a cold," he offered.

I raised a bewildered cat to eye level. "Tell Mommy where it hurts."

My husband took the cat from me and examined her eyes, ears, and nose. "It's probably just a cold," he reassured. "We'll call the vet tomorrow."

I remained doubtful, but the cat was now hiding under the sofa, consciously suppressing sneezes.

I called the vet first thing in the morning.

"Hello-I-have-an-emergency," I said.

"Yes ma'am?"

"It's my cat. She keeps sneezing."

"Yes ma'am," she said.

I remained silent, awaiting instructions.

"Um, is there any vomiting or diarrhea?"

My God, is this woman stupid? I would have had the cat at the emergency clinic at the first sign of vomiting or diarrhea. I took a deep breath, and reminded myself to speak slowly, so she could understand me.

"No, but it's a lot of sneezing. She sneezed twenty times in a row. For five minutes straight." I waved away my husband who was trying to take the phone. As an accountant he has this hang-up about accurate numbers. I felt it more important to convey the gravity of the situation.

Dire possibilities, each worse than the one before, occurred to me. I burst forth with one nightmare scenario. "Do you think she might be having an allergic reaction?" I asked. "Maybe she has internal hives? I saw her scratching her ear earlier. How would I treat internal cat hives?"

The receptionist put me on hold. She spoke cautiously when she returned.

"It sounds like an upper respiratory infection. Pick up some alcohol-free liquid Benadryl®, and give your cat one milliliter per pound of body weight. If that doesn't do the trick, call us back."

"Fine," I muttered and hung up. No one cared that my cat was at deaths door. Even my husband was useless, tossing toys for the cat to chase. She was stoic enough to pretend to enjoy the diversion.

I trudged to the store and came back with the Benadryl®.

"Grape?" my husband asked, examining the bottle.

"It was that or bubble-gum. Let's just get it down her."

He scooped up the cat, and I positioned the dropper in her mouth. One hour, three new droppers, and half a bottle of wasted Benadryl® later, we managed to get about an eighth of a teaspoon down her throat. She fled as soon as we released her. I went in pursuit to offer my apologies. After all, nobody likes grape flavor.

When I found the cat, my heart flip-flopped. There was white foam issuing from her mouth.

I raced to the phone, and dialed with trembling fingers. I explained our beloved cat was now foaming at the mouth. The receptionist giggled. I mentally planned how I would kill her.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you," she said. "Benadryl® makes a lot of cats foam at the mouth. Don't worry about it."

"Benadryl® makes a lot of cats foam at the mouth, but you didn't think to mention that to me?" I wanted to be sure I had the facts right for my trial.

She sighed. "If it will make you feel better, bring the cat in and we'll take a look at her."

I brought the cat in and the vet ran some tests. "Looks like a head cold," he said. "I'm going to give you a prescription for something a lot like Benadryl®. That ought to knock it out."

My husband greeted me at the door as I returned. "What did the vet say?" he asked.

"He said the cat has a cold."

My husband smiled. "Not a word," I warned.

He left, but I heard him telling the cat it was now safe to sneeze. He thinks he's funny but I'll have the last laugh.

The next time he gets a cold, I'm going to feed him the rest of the grape Benadryl®.

This article first appeared in the March 2004 issue of Cats & Kittens