Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty… 

I want a cat. 

There, I’ve said it. Proclaimed my intent to the Universe. Although I’m only willing to accept moderate blame when events transpire to actually bring a cat into my life. 

I have no business getting a cat. A few strong reasons off the top of my head include: 

  1. I’m allergic.
  2. My lease doesn’t currently allow for pets.
  3. I’m allergic.
  4. I’M NEVER HOME. This poor animal would be alone 80% of the time.
  5. The last thing I need are more expenses in my life.
  6. Did I mention that I’m allergic?

And yet. 

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No, the cat did not drag a snake into the house--yet. But I fear it's coming. Here's why. 

Two days ago, my neighbor and I stepped outside our condo doors at the same time. She screamed. I jumped. The long black snake that caused her scream slithered away into the grass. 

I posted to Facebook. Snake in the area! Cat will probably find it! Oh no! Ha ha, very funny. People laughed. 

The next day I go home from lunch. Sunny. Beautiful. Back door wide open. Cat sunning himself on patio. I take large bite of tuna salad, look outside and almost choke. Freaking huge black snake slithering under my fence, up my patio walkway, toward my cat and my (cough-choke-gasp-gag) open door.

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Ding-Dong, The Mouse Is Dead

There can be only one.

Sad, but true. And since I pay the rent, the one is me, last survivor standing in the battle of woman against mouse.

Last night, in an all out effort to rid myself of the beast, I stopped by CVS on my way home from work and bought every mousetrap they had. (Sounds more impressive than it is—they only had five.) Then I mixed sugar into my almond butter, smeared it on some Paleo bread—it’s hard to find bait when you eat Paleo—and baited the traps. I strategically placed them in the pantry, by the fridge, under the sink and in the kitchen towel drawer.  Then I went to bed and waited.

Sure enough, this morning there was a dead mouse in the pantry trap. The cheap one that cost .99 cents. While I’m happy to be rid of the mouse, I dislike a violent death and so had a moment of silence for him. If I had a bugle, I would have played taps.

The cat remains aloof. Ever since he released the mouse into my home, he’s shown no interest in sniffing, tracking or catching said mouse. That little sh**.

While I’m relieved the mouse is gone, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t fear what’s to come. It seems like the cat is slowly building momentum with the critters it invites into our home. First it was a frog, then a lizard, than a baby bunny and now a mouse. Can an anaconda or a rabid possum be far behind?

Dear CVS: please stock up now. Chances are good that I’m going to need some bigger traps.



The Mouse Saga Continues

Mouse - 1. Dena - 0.

I had plans tonight to write what I hoped would be the much anticipated Part II in my "Slowing Down to Speed Up" series but no, no one cares. All anyone is asking about is the mouse. So fine. Give the people what they want, that's my motto. Here goes.

For those who follow me on Facebook, you know one of my mouse traps went off, leading me to believe I had caught the mouse. Except I didn't really feel anything moving around when I shook the trap. I was too afraid to open the trap and look inside because I was sure Zombie Mouse would spring out and attack. So I just operated on the assumption that the mouse was gone. For two days, I've walked about in a state of rodent-free bliss.


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