Dating Diaries: “I Had Another Crier”

My friend J. is also doing the online dating thing. He emailed the other day to share a long and disturbing story of a woman who just started sobbing in the middle of dinner on their first date. We decided she was either mentally unbalanced or—and kudos to her if this was it—she was executing a clever ploy to excuse herself from the date.

We both kind of wrote it off as “Huh. Whatever.” moment. Then J. texted me yesterday:

J: I had another crier! This one broke down and said "I just love the Bible and Jesus so much..." in between sobs...

Me: Oh. My. God. How are you attracting these women?? You really need to refine your screening process.

 J: I know! I guess I could put a clause that says: if you think you were born more than once, swipe left! This one waited until I'd bought her two sushi dinners before she went New Testament on my ass.

Uh, ladies? Breaking into sobs on a date may indicate—and this is just a hunch but hear me out—that you are perhaps not ready to date.

Think about it.

Cheers,

Dena

New Running Mantra

I've been asking friends for ideas for a new running mantra. I'm looking for something a little challenging, a little motivating and a little badass (all to suit my personality). I tried out REMEMBER MY NAME and BECAUSE F**K PAIN but neither felt quite right.

I also tried out a line I think I saw on a Dove body wash campaign that was something like, LET'S SEE WHAT'S POSSIBLE. That was good, but not quite it. 

Then I found it. I was at the gym, on the treadmill doing intervals and feeding myself every excuse in the book on why I should let myself quit. I was battling it out mentally and finally told myself I could make up excuses until the sun went down, but I was going to stay right where I was and run anyway.

Run anyway.

RUN ANYWAY. 

That's it.

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One Thing A Day

I may not be busy, but my schedule remains robust. Because of this, there are days (most days) when I feel more controlled then enabled by the lists I keep of tasks and errands that need attended to.  Sure, some of them can maybe be skipped—the kitchen table doesn’t have to have a new centerpiece except if you saw it you would agree that yes, it does—but most are things that, sooner or later, need to get done.

A small example from the list I’m currently hauling around:

  • Call my bank because I entered the wrong password one too many times and am now locked out of my account
  • Take my car in to be cleaned
  • Replace the hand towel holder by my bathroom sink which requires paint and spackle
  • Trim the bushes around the patio
  • Go through the towering in-box by my desk
  • Plan visits...
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The Power of Self-Talk

Women have a bad habit of putting ourselves down when talking to each other. Conversations are liberally sprinkled with phrases like, “My hair looks awful today,” or “I hate my clothes. I feel like I look fat in everything,” or even “I feel like a bad mom/friend/sister/spouse.” It too often feels like a competition among women over who can be the most “humble,” by putting themselves down the most.

My friend Christie has the best response when I, or others around her, start in with the negative talk. “Please don’t talk about my friend that way,” she’ll say. It’s a great wake-up call. I wouldn’t talk about other people the way I too often talk about myself.           

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