Charged Up For A Fight

I don't know if it's something in the air, water or my astrological chart, but I am picking fights with people right and left. To wit:

SCENARIO I:

The President of a writer's group I belong to sent out what I found to be a very snippy e-mail message concerning a member and some suggestions this member asked be forwarded to the board for consideration. In the course of presenting the member's suggestions to us, the President implied this woman was pushy and a pain in the ass and pretty much tore each suggestion apart in front of us before (ha ha) asking for our opinions.

What's that all about? How are people supposed to voice their opinions when the President makes clear from the e-mail she sends out that she wants no part of these suggestions and she's ticked off they were brought before the board in the first place? What irritated me more is that no one else on our board said anything about the tone of the message or that it might be improper to present requests to the board in this matter. (The e-mails about this were going on while I was in Portland).

So the heck with it. I wrote an e-mail to the board and included a paragraph where I pointed out to the President that her annoyance with the member shown through and I didn't think that was the proper way to handle the requests. I tried to keep it neutral and also thanked her for all the great work she does (because she takes on a TON of work and is a very good President). But I'm annoyed 1) she sent the e-mail out the way the did, 2) no one spoke up about it, 3) I had to do it.

And I guess I didn't have to do it, but it seems to me the right thing to do. I don't want to be part of a board that bashes people behind their back. Which leads to...

SCENARIO II:

This is just a quick recap from last month when I was angry over a different writers group saga.  In this group we get a ton of messages replied to the entire group that say things like, "Good Job!" and I sent an e-mail asking if people could reply to the person and not the group. That started a firestorm. It was settled (people continue to send e-mails to the group) but I had people e-mailing me behind the scenes saying they agreed with me, but they wouldn't step forward to say it on their own.  It frustrates me. Who are these people so afriad to state their opinion about such a small matter?

SCENARIO III:

Yet a third writers group I belong to (but not for long) is wearing me down. We've invited a major NY editor to speak at our annual meeting and getting stipend money to pay for this agent was like getting blood from a stone but they finally agreed. But now they're refusing to pay for a $180 hotel room for the night for this agent, insisting she'll be fine bunking with one of our members in their home.

This woman is paying her own plane fare, paying for her meals, giving a 40-minute talk and we can't spring for one hotel room when we have PLENTY of money in the bank to do so?  I was ticked and sent--truth be told--not the nicest e-mail to the group. I believe the words "tacky" and "embarrassing" were used with some frequency. 

Hmmm....interesting how all the problems stem from writers groups (couldn't be me--I'm never the problem <grin>).  So here are my new rules for writers I may happen to be in a group with:

1. Have an opinion. Don't wait to see what the group thinks or what the safe bet will be before you form it.
2. Be willing to state your opinion.
3. Say what you mean.  I'm so tired of people pussyfooting around because they don't want to hurt someones feelings or are afraid so and so will get mad.  Get a backbone.
4. Consider the feelings of others. Stating your opinion doesn't mean bulldozing over others. It just means you're willing to put your view forth in a non-accusatory manner and see if it floats. There's no need to deflat other people or ridicule their opinons just to make yours heard (All right, I need to work on this one myself...)
5. Be willing to change your opinion. But only if it's because you've been persuaded--not intimadated--into doing so.
6. Have some fun. From what I've seen, people take themselves, their work, and their importance way too seriously. Lighten up and have some fun. The group you work with will appreciate it.

Travel Day

I'm back! Portland was wonderful. I want to go back for a visit when I have time to hike and explore. But even driving down the highway with Mount Hood in the distance was just stunning.  And I got lucky. From what I heard, it's been raining there non-stop for almost 3 months but I had two full days of sunshine during my visit. It was beautiful.

The trip was quick but productive. I have a much stronger sense of the company and I got to meet with the cartoonist who I'll be working with to come up with material for and he's talented and a lot of fun. (And a former professional Paintball player which I think is kinda cool).  My editor is fun and smart and I'm going to enjoy my assignments for this group.

Yesterday coming home was a loooong day.  I got up at 3:45 AM to arrive for my 6:30 AM flight. But around 5:30 they announced the plane was oversold and they were looking for volunteers to give up their seats in exchange for a $400 voucher for future travel. I have a lot of travel coming up this year - Columbus in September for my cousin's wedding, San Francisco in November for Cat Writers conference, I want to go to Cincinnati to visit my best friend...

So I took the voucher and delayed my departure for 5 hours. It wasn't so bad. I stretched out on some chairs and slept (I can fall asleep anywhere) and bought The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell which is an absolutely riveting book and really saved my day.  So I left Portland at 11:30, arrived in Cincy at 6:15 PM and was lucky that Trisha & Max (best friend and her son) could meet me for an hour, then raced to catch my flight at 8:20 which was boarding by the time I got there. In to GSO airport at 9:40 and home by 10:30.

I am SWAMPED today. 111 e-mails to pour through, I'm teaching 2 classes tomorrow which I have yet to prepare for (handouts, etc.) and I'm doing a last-minute book signing tomorrow morning from 10-12. Not to mention actual work that's due.  Lots of that too.

But it's good to be home. I love sleeping in my own bed and being surrounded by my stuff.  I am a homebody at heart. And of course, married to the man of any woman's dreams. Came home once again to a spotless house, gleaming countertops, and when I got up this morning he had carried my suitcase into the bedroom for me to unpack and recharged my phone.  Life is good.

For Tuesday

I'll be gone tomorrow (Tuesday) but here's a little something to keep you occupied.  No fair reading ahead! Save it for Tuesday.

You will need pen and paper for this. Ready? Here goes:  There have been 43 U.S. Presidents. How many of them can you name?

I scored an embarrassing 50%. Even more embarrassing when I went back and read the list and began to hit myself in the head going, "Duh! Duh!"  I left out so many obvious ones it's humiliating. I just drew a blank.

 So give it a try and let me know how you do.I'll even give you a freebie. Millard Fillmore, President from 1850-53. I feel remiss in my education as I am quite certain a Millard Fillmore was never mentioned anywhere in a history lesson.  So, only 42 to go. You can check your answers here when you're ready.  Good luck.

Quick Trip to Portland

Tomorrow morning I fly out to Portland, Oregon for a very quick meeting with the editor of a vet magazine I'll be writing a humor column for. Once I get in on Tuesday, we'll tour the campus, meet everyone at the magazine, then sit down with the cartoonist for a brainstorming session. Dinner out, more meetings on Wednesday, then I fly out at 6:30 AM on Thursday.  Like I said, it's a quick trip.

I'm looking forward to it though. This column is the Pet Horoscopes piece I've mentioned earlier and it's a good bit of fun. I feel so "official" as a writer, being flown out to meet with everyone.  I'm more accustomed to the "our accountant ran off with our profits but we're combing the couch in the lounge for loose change to pay you with" kind of set up.

(Wow.   A quick aside--it is POURING here. Hail, thunder, black skies. I love a noisy storm. And we need it to get rid of the God-awful pollen that has coated our entire region in yellow. And just like that, it's almost done. While I typed the last two sentences the hail turned to a moderate rain. )

Usually I'm ambivalent about these type trips but rave about them afterward. The fact that I'm so looking forward to this one concerns me a bit--don't want to jinx it.

Here's an ambivalent part - I'm not so wild about getting up at 4 am tomorrow. My flight leaves at 6:30 AM, which means I'll leave the house at 5 (because I like to get to the airport early like they tell you to, that's why), which means I need to be up by 4 to shower and do last minute packing and goodbyes to the cats. I'm wearing business clothes on the plane which means heels which means a loooong flight day. My little tootsies just don't know what to do when confronted with anything over the height of your standard flip-flop. 

And of course I'm spending today doing all the "essential" things one does before a business trip - bank, gather important documents, paint the toenails, charge up the cell phone, laundry, laundry, laundry, pet the cats, go through the mail that's been sitting in the inbox for over a week now in case there's any ticking time bomb in there I forgot, e-mail everyone I know that I'll be gone for business for a whole day and a half, blog (of course), finish painting the final trim coat in the bathroom (I won't be able to enjoy my trip unless I know it's done) and myriad of other things. 

So I better get back to it. I'm not taking my laptop with me so probably no blog until Friday. I trust you'll all be able to move on with the shattered remnants of your life. ;)

Dena