Relax, Trish. It's not that bad. Max is actually (contrary to all my previously held beliefs about 7-year-old boys) a good kid. Part of this could be from fear though. Trisha told me that before she and Max flew to Atlanta to meet me she told him he better be good because "Aunt Dena doesn't like kids."
So instead of nitpicking the week, I've instead decided to take the high road (or the slightly higher road) and post a list of the top 10 things I've learned about 7-year-old boys. I offer it here in the hopes of educating those who come after me.
- Sitting still is not an option
- No price can be put on the entertainment value of an indoor hotel swimming pool
- Louder is better
- They like to pee with the door open and sometimes forget to flush
- Vegetables will only be eaten by negotiation
- "In your face!" is a favorite phrase. (Apparently it's the phrase and not the implication behind the phrase that's so fun, though. When I told Max to brush his teeth, the response was an enthusiastic, "Oh man, in my face!"
- Video games rule and I will never, under any circumstances, be able to beat a 7-year-old at even the most rudimentary of video games
- Anything involving tumbling, throwing, growling, jumping, or pushing is always fun
- They can be going a hundred miles an hour and suddenly, with no warning, be asleep
- When the mood strikes, they can eat enough in one sitting to feed a small Chinese city for a month
There were even, I'm willing to admit, some warm fuzzy moments. Like when we went out for a late dinner and Max, tired and a little whiny, leaned into me and rested his head on my shoulder for a brief nap. (melt, melt, melt).
There were also moments of sheer terror. Like when we were waiting to be seated at said restaurant and Trisha was in the ladies room. Out of the blue, Max turned to me and asked, "The Easter Bunny is real, right?"
Calm down. I'm not that much of an orge. I assured him said Bunny is most assuredly real and the friend who told him it wasn't is full of it and probably needs mental rest and rehabilitation. Seemed to do the trick.
Okay, fine. I still have a little work to do before I get this whole child thing down. But at least I'm trying.
- Aunt Dena