Here's To You - Writing Toasts

Remember the whole cat book due by August thing ( Click hereto read about it)? I received an e-mail yesterday from another editor at Publications International who wrote they have a book on toasts coming out and are looking for writers who can contribute 150 toasts for weddings, birthdays, graduations--all under 50 words. 

On a sugar high from the chocolate I'd confiscated earlier in the day from Blair, I cheerfully agreed to submit 3 sample toasts by Monday afternoon.  I have to write one for a wedding, one for graduation, and one for retirement.

How do I get myself in these ridiculous situations? I can't write toasts!  I have no clue!  But now I'm obligated to turn in toasts because I don't want to blow my chances on being selected for the cat book.  Saying I'll turn something in and then going back on my word would not set a good impression.

So I expect to be sitting in a chair for the rest of the afternoon, glazed eyes staring out a window as I desperately try to think of words to rhyme with "congrats." (Rats? Mats? Big hairy bats?)

I'm such a moron to keep placing myself in these situations....