All I can say is, no one was injured. So that's a good thing. Other than that, the first day trip out wearing the stilettos was not what I would call a smashing success.
I knew I wanted to wear my new spiky shoes last night to a Toastmasters supper club meeting where I was competing in an evaluation contest. So on Tuesday, wearing shorts and a t-shirt, I strapped on the stilettos and proceeded to clump around the house.
The cats ran for cover when the saw me coming. THUNK, THUNK, THUNK... I thundered down the hall, knees bent for balance, heels wobbling like I was wearing ice-skates. I called my friend Trisha while walking around the house.
"What is that horrible noise?" she asked over the phone.
KA-CHUNK, KA-CHUNK, KA-CHUNK. "That's me, walking like a lady," I answer.
"You are in deep trouble," she said, laughing.
Still, I managed a few turns around the carpet and thought I was ready.
I dressed carefully for last night's event. I looked pretty good until I strapped on the heels. Then I looked hot. Two inches in height can really make a difference in your confidence level.
I didn't even try wearing the heels in the car, figuring I'd probably catch a spike in the gas pedal and mow down a tree. So I waited until I reached the parking lot to slide my pretty pumps on.
I got out of my car and headed across the lot. Horrible. I had to take smaller, baby steps to keep my balance but even so, I'm pretty sure I was lurching forward at a 90 degree angle. I met another woman in my TM group, coming in, who was suffering from a slight limp. I have never been so grateful. I acted like I slowed my pace to match hers, all the while offering silent prayers of thanks that I had a reason to walk slow and carefully.
There was one point--and I'm laughing as I write this, remembering--where I was walking with a group of people toward the door. We were walking slowly, talking, and then paused by a glass door. I guess I leaned back a little too far because I swear to God, I almost lost my balance and fell backward. It was like a Bugs Bunny moment as I teetered on the end of my heels, waiting to see which way I would fall. Thankfully, there must have been a slight wind that pushed me back upright.
Here's the sad part. I know if I had been an observer watching me, my thoughts would have been, "Poor girl. Who is she trying to impress?" But that is the magic--and danger--of the stiletto. I know it's a stupid shoe...impractical, unsafe, and potentially dangerous to the health of my feet and spine. But then I stand (unmoving, of course) in front of a mirror and admire how I look in them. Hot.
Yea, I'll give them another go tomorrow.
(READ Part I Here: I'm A Woman Now)