I have made the recent and fascinating discovery, people, that BenGay patches rock.
I pulled a muscle under my left shoulder blade Monday while doing nothing more than raising my arms over my head in an early morning shake-the-sleep from your eyes stretch. I felt something go, "pop," and thought, "uh-oh."
It got worse over the next couple of days, moving up the left side of my neck. I haven't slept this week, as every time I move or roll over a twinge of pain wakes me up. On Wednesday I was on the phone to my friend Trisha, complaining that I was one step away from free-basing Advil.
"You know, when I hurt my back I used those BenGay patches," she said. "And they really worked." (That's right, Trish. If I'm letting the world know I use BenGay, I'm taking you down with me.)
I cancelled all my Wednesday afternoon meetings and hightailed it out to CVS where I bought BenGay heat patches and sugarfree spearmint gum. Talk about feeling old.
The patches are about 6" x 4" and are covered in a sticky goo that wields itself to your skin. They're cold when they go on but quickly heat up so it almost feels like you're being jabbed with mini hot-irons. And oh--the relief. I had one on for a couple of hours last night before bed and slept through the night. Plus, my shoulder feels much better today.
Maybe I'll offer to do a BenGay TV testimonial: "Hi, I'm Dena. If you're like me, maybe you think you're too young to smell like a hospital bed. I used to think so, too. But now, I just pet my cats so my allergies stop me up and I don't even notice the smell. BenGay. It worked for me and it can work for you!"
Really. Depends undergarments can't be far behind.