Am I a nag?
Do I nag too much?
Can nagging ever be a good thing? Suppose, for example, one nagged to help one's partner improve themselves, thereby living a happier, more meaningful existence. Or that one nagged in a subtle attempt to influence the behavior of another. Or, that one nagged because I'VE TOLD BLAIR SOMETHING 500 TIMES AND IT DOESN'T SEEM TO BE SINKING IN SO MAYBE IF I SAY IT ANOTHER 500 TIMES IT WILL TAKE.
Whew! That felt good.
Okay, I'll admit it. I nag. Which is worrisome, as I read a study recently that said marriages break up not over major issues like religious or political differences, but more often over a lifetime accumulation of small headaches - shoes flung across the floor, dental floss that every morning just misses the trash can... or perhaps the constant daily nagging from a loved one.
Blair, being close to perfect, makes it a challenge to find things for me to nag him about - he doesn't leave the seat up, he's probably better than me about picking up after himself, and the man cleans the house top to bottom every Saturday while I'm doing my long runs. But that doesn't mean I'm not up to the task of finding something to complain about. Here are a few sample nags from this week:
- Closing the bedroom blinds. If I could go to sleep in a cave, I would. I need pitch blackness to sleep. When Blair closes our blinds, he kind of half-twists them closed, so slots of light shine through. Once we're in bed with lights out, I usually get back up and twist the blinds tightly closed. Which seems like wasted effort to me. Why not just close them properly the first time?
- Calling at 7:15 to tell me he's just now leaving the office (40 minutes away) and won't be home by 7:30 for dinner. Tell it to the casserole in the oven, buddy.
- Leaving the radio on while the TV is on. Like nails down a chalkboard - how can you focus with multiple sounds coming from everywhere? Aaaaauuuugh!!!
I know, I know... such hardships in my life. This is my point. Why not RELAX and give the poor man a break? The calling late thing is annoying, but the other two I'm certainly capable of dealing with without a fuss. The embarrassing part is that Blair never nags me... and I've got a few "quirks" of my own including:
- Separating my laundry into piles on the bathroom floor and then leaving it there for days before I get around to washing it.
- Grabbing any empty glass I see and putting it in the dishwasher, forcing Blair to carry his "in use" mugs with him for safety reasons.
- Dragging the vacuum across the hardwood floors instead of picking it up and carrying it as he's asked me to about, yes, 500 times.
But this is marriage. I deal with your weird stuff and you deal with mine. It's fun knowing the odd, intimate habits of another. So I'm going to lighten up and quit nagging. I won't say a word, for example, about the mouthwash left sitting out EVERY MORNING on the bathroom countertop even though it has its special place to be stored away under the sink.
I'm just sayin'....