Anyone who has known me for any length of time knows plants and I don't do well together. Almost every flower/plant/herb that has come into my care has ended up dying a neglected death.
Well meaning gardening friends tell me that caring for plants is easy, then launch into hour-long soliloquies on NASA researched formulas for soil composition, watering, and fertilizing. When I ask if there isn't a flower available that I can just plant and water sporadically, they assure me there are many such varieties then immediately return to lecture mode on how if I want to keep it simple all I need to do is buy this special plant food and feed it to the low-maintenance flower during the waning phase of the moon ONLY, and repot the plant exactly 33.97 days before the first frost, and then there's usually some formula involving PI for determining when I need to upgrade the soil composition and so on...
I don't want to hurt the feelings of these well meaning friends, but it's just not going to happen. It's a miracle I've kept two cats alive this many years. I can't be responsible for nurturing a houseful of plants as well. It's survival of the fittest around here and I have to tell you, even the cacti are having a hard time of it.
But hope springs eternal, and my neighbor and friend Iris Sutcliffe has me convinced that a front yard of beautiful flowers can be mine. And so, following her advice, I have planted some knockout roses. They are three days in the ground and still alive which may be a new record for me, so I'm quite pleased. I've even watered them a couple of times.
While I'm babysitting roses, Farmer Blair is trying his hand at square foot gardening. We've planted beans and tomatoes and squash and zucchini. Unfortunately, the only place that gets full sun are the planting beds in front of our house, so that's where we're growing everything. Which means the mail carrier, the exterminator, the Fed Ex delivery guy, the neighborhood cats, everyone gets to monitor our progress. If things don't go our way, I'm not above buying some vegetables at the store and burying them in the dirt, just to save face.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go think about watering my roses.