50 Years and Counting

I have coffee every morning at my gym with a group of retirees.  Last week, one of them mentioned he was taking his wife out to dinner to celebrate 55 years of marriage.

“Aw, you’re just a kid,” said another. “My wife and I are celebrating 62 years this August.”

“I’m getting close to celebrating 50 years myself,” said another.

There was silence as the group, who’ve known each other for years, exchanged puzzled looks. 

“Well, I mean, 50 years if you count them all up consecutively,” said the guy.

 I cracked up. Turns out he’s been married four times. “Just so you know,” I said, “That 50 years doesn’t count.”

“Time served is time served,” he said.

I love morning coffees.



The Dena Hunger Games

Blair and I were watching The Hunger Games today and as the tributes were racing off their platforms into the woods, Blair turned to me. "You would be good at that," he said. 

"Nah,"I replied. "I'd do myself in on the first day from the stress of it."

"Not true," he said. "You'd be like (and here he morphed into his high pitched "Dena voice"):'PICK ME! I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE!"

"And then," he continued, "the officials would be all like, 'Uh, Dena, you won last year. You can't compete again.' And you'd be all like (he lets out a primal wail): 'AAAIIIEEE!! I MUST KILL!!!" 

I was rolling. Whether or not it's because he completely nailed my personality, I'm not sure. 



Smug Marrieds: The Devoted Wife

I am a devoted wife. I know this because Chicken Soup For the Soul: Devotional Stories for Wives just accepted one of my stories for inclusion in their book. If only acceptance came with a little "devoted wife" badge I could pull out and show people. 

Remember this blog post?

This is the one where Blair referred to me as a Skeksis from The Dark Crystal. The story I submitted is a slightly modified version. Finally, our love of muppets, Jim Henson and lack of inhibition around referring to each other as beaked, scaly creatures is paying off. 

Once the book comes out, I'm sure I'll be signing all my book copies, Dena - The Devoted Wife.


Moving Diaries: Light Up My Life

Now that we're a bit more settled in Barbie's Dream Home, you may be wondering how Blair and I are spending our time. Are we creating gourmet meals in the chef's kitchen? Snuggling in front of the fireplace? Planning the elaborate dinners we'll host?

Nope. We spend most of our free time trying to figure out light switches. 

I have never seen so many light features in my life. The kitchen alone has eight switches. Eight! The other night I forbade Blair from turning off the counter top kitchen lights because the dishwasher was running and we weren't entirely sure which switch needed to remain on.


Read More