The Mysteries of Life

• Why does plucking your eyebrows make you sneeze?
• Why can't women apply mascara without sticking our tongues out the side of our mouths?
• Why do you hit all red lights when you're in a hurry and all green lights when you're in no rush?
• Why can I go to the exact same hair stylist as other people and they come out with fun, chic hairstyles and I look like a five-year old got too near me with their first pair of scissors?
• Why can't I ever find a (fill in the blank) straight pin/thumb tack/rubber band/toothpick when I need one but can find 50,000 of them when they're not needed?
• Why can't I grow flowers? (Okay, I know the answer to that one. Apparently you have to water them occasionally...)
• Why am I allergic to cats when I love them above all measure?
  
• Why do I crave chocolate after exercising? (I think it's because God has cruel sense of humor, but I can't prove anything)
• Why do Doritos smell like dirty feet? (We can send a man to the moon but can't fix this? C'mon...)
  
• Why is the thing on earth I most want to be--a successful writer--the hardest thing of all for me to do?
  
• Why am I not worshipped as a god? (This one is a thinker...)
• And finally, why do I suspect my cats are smarter than me and hold the answers to most of the above questions but just aren't telling?

People ask me what happens when I can't think of anything to blog about. The above entry is the perfect example. Better luck tomorrow.

Trying to Entertain a 4-Year-Old

It's all about filling the hours.

My sister-in-law and her son are visiting this weekend. They are having a snack at the kitchen table and I have snuck away to check e-mail and blog (ah ha ha - evil laugh).  I was not looking forward to having them here but in all fairness I must say this has not been a bad weekend, thus far. I had memories from their last visit a year ago where the activity of choice was banging a solid brass belt buckle against my hardwood floors. The nephew seems a little more well-behaved this time around, in part because I think he's grown into some shyness.

Yesterday afternoon Blair spent almost 2 hours playing football and soccer with L. out in the yard. Today Blair had to work (I'll get him for that one) so it was all on me. I loaded them into the car around 9 and we drove into Greensboro and spent several hours at The Children's Museum. VERY COOL place if you've never been there.  They have a giant bubble machine where you stand in the center of a circle of soap, pull on a rope that raises a plastic cylinder dipped in suds and it ends that you're standing in the center of this giant soap bubble.  I was shoving small children out of the way so I could play with that.  That's after I flashed them. At some point in the morning I looked down and realized a key button on my blouse had come undone and been that way for God knows how long.  Well, they do advertise an educational experience...

After that we took L. to his first movie - Ice Age II. He enjoyed it and that killed another 2 hours. Now we're home, it's just before 5 and I have to figure out how to fill the next 4 hours until I can excuse myself and go to bed. It's raining, so we're housebound. My only hope is our day was so full he'll tucker out early.

How on earth do you parents out there do this every day???

Follow-up on Elizabeth Berg

I've had a few people ask how the luncheon where I got to meet one of my all-time favorite authors Elizabeth Berg went. I've hesitated about blogging about it because I'm not sure what to say. But here goes...

The luncheon itself was beautiful. Held at High Point Country Club, it was like walking into a big 'ol Southern mansion with all the charm implied therein. Chandeliers, terraces, cotton towels in the ladies room instead of paper towels and complimentary lotion, hairspray, and lipstick--very nice.

 Elizabeth Berg read from many of her works which I enjoyed. But that's almost all she did.  I was hoping to hear more of a talk from her about her writing and her career. So I was a bit disappointed in that.  But I did get her to sign a book and also I had long ago dissected one of her novels, Joy School, to see how a novel is put together and I brought her all my notes and she was gracious enough to sign that as well.

The weird part of the day for me was the company kept. Very high society country club women all decked out in their finest spring line with matching hats, lipstick, pearls and diamonds.  I can't put my finger on what was wrong. But there was an underlying feeling I was uncomfortable with. After ruminating on it, I think what it was is that I didn't feel most of these women were here because they were interested in authors or writing or Elizabeth Berg. I more felt like they were there simply to have someone entertain them and to be seen. Only 3 questions were asked in the Q & A session. Most of the 300+ crowd simply scattered away after the luncheon and didn't wait in line to meet Ms. Berg. "People have a lot of commitments" I was told, when I commented on this while standing in line.

There was also no common conversation such as "So what do you do?" I suspect because most of them don't work. But I was asked who my husband was and if I was kin to the so-and-so Harris' because then I might know such and such's daughter-in-law? Ick.

Again, no one was rude in any way.  It was just an odd afternoon. But I'm still glad I went. I got to spend time with my friends Pam & Judy and Pam's upcoming book, Southern Fried Women was announced at the luncheon and Elizabeth Berg told Pam she would like a copy of it, which is wonderful. 

Apparently I'm just not the high-society type. Which is fine with me. 

Beading Party, Cats & Wake-up Calls

Much to blog about today. We'll start with my cat Lucy. I asked Blair to wake me up at 5am today so I had time to get up and eat a bit of food before going to yoga at 6. He woke me up at 5 and went downstairs to shower. I threw myself back under the pillows and decided I'd just do a yoga tape later today around 10. But then...

"Mrow. Mow. Mow-mow-meow-rowr."

 "Hush," I said from under the covers. "Mommy is sleeping in."

"Mrow."

Pause

"Mrow."

Pause.

"Mrow."

Pause

"Mrow."

 "Oh my God," I said, sitting up and throwing the covers. "WHAT?"

The "what" was that she wanted some attention. So I got up and combed a purring cat for 10 minutes AND made it to yoga on time. I told my yoga instructor she owes my cat some niblets for that one.

Now let's backtrack to last night's beading party.  SUCH fun. Melody is the most patient of instructors and people had a ball walking around and looking at her work and creating their own. Two creations really stood out. Maggie and Stevii both made these intricate, multi-bead necklaces that were astonishing to behold. Really beautiful.

I made a long necklace--twice.  I was halfway complete and lifted it to look at it and dropped one of the ends. I'll be vacuuming up beads for months, I'm sure. But I'm wearing it now as I type this and I love it.

The most fun for me was seeing how everyone meshed together. It was an eclectic group of women from different areas of my life--some writers, some neighbors, some former co-workers, some young women. Everyone got along splendidly and if noise level is any indication of a party's success, this party rocked. 

I would host another beading party for Melody in a heartbeat. It really is fun to have your hands busy with a task but be sharing with others, and having a necklace as a takeaway for the night is a great thing. Everyone more than got their money's worth.

Thanks Melody!