Scary Apple Pie

I don't claim to be a good cook. Rachel Ray will never have me on  her show and relatives know it's best to eat a light meal before they arrive at my house for dinner, in case something goes astray (and something always goes astray). But darn it, even I should be able to add butter and bake.

Sigh...tis not to be.  Last night I made two apple pies, one of which had to be chunked for the most embarrassing of reasons... I forgot to cook it long enough. 

See, a neighbor's kid was selling apples for some school trip and of course the cheapest apple tray was something obscene like $39.99 for--are you ready--18 apples.  What the hell am I going to do with 18 apples?? I gave what felt like loads away to friends but still had half a fridge left. Blair has a company potluck tomorrow so I thought, "Wouldn't it be nice to bake my man a pie?" (Fortunately, my man has been around long enough to wise up and he made sausage balls to take in as a back up).

Now, when I say "bake a pie," what I mean is I purchase a ready-made frozen pie crust and apple crumble filling. All I have to do is add 6 tablespoons melted butter, stir into the crumble mixture and pour over the apples. Which I did. But I still had 5 apples and more filling and an extra crust, so I plunged in and made another pie.

And here's where I made my error. I slipped my 2nd pie into the oven about 20 minutes after pie #1 had gone in,  and walked away. Then, when the timer went off for pie #1, I removed both pies.  I commented to Blair that the second pie did not look good, but it didn't dawn on me until more than an hour later what the problem was.

For all my efforts, I got butter on the floor, crumble mixture of the coffee pot, and a pie that looks like a 5-year-olds first effort.

The heck with it. Slice and bake cookies--that's my forte. I bake a mean sugar cookie with a Christmas tree pre-dyed into the center.  

Dinner, anyone? 

I Asked For It...

Be careful what you ask for or you just may get it.  Words to live by, my friends, words to live by.

You'll note in Friday's entry that I was despairing of being a mere $230 away from meeting this year's income goal and begging for work. Well, work found me. I've agreed to take on a heinous, boring, underpaying job that--and this is the only reason I've agreed to do it--will put me over my financial goal for the year.  

I'm having trouble believing that even I am such a slave to my whims.  But the timing of the job offer was perfect and the small sum will put me over the top. I've worked for this company before and they pay promptly and each week.  So I'll  devote portions of the next 2 days to the project and submit a bill on Friday.

Yes, Santa came early this year. ;) 

Weight of a Dead Cat

You all know how much I love my cats,. But even my patience was tried last night as I tried to budge a 12 lb. cat just an inch or two to the left so I could have a smidge of sleeping room.

She wasn't having it. She dug her claws into our bedspread and went completely limp, adding I think a good 10 lbs to her body weight with her "I'm a dead cat" feint.

She was lying between Blair and myself, down around our knees. It was 2 AM and Blair had rolled over, pulling most of the covers with him. I gave a gentle tug and he released them, but I needed her highness to move in order to pull the covers over to my side.

I tapped her with my foot. "Hey, move it," I whispered.

She pretended as if she hadn't heard me.

I sat up and scratched her ears, trying to charm her into moving. That was a no go, so I tried to pick her up but as I said, she proceeded to act as if the lifeforce had drained out of her and went completely limp.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to get a grip on a deadweight cat?

So I turned mean (hey--it's 2 AM and I'm tired) and started shoving at her with my feet under the covers until she finally moved.  

I went to sleep with a satisfied smirk on my face...

Camera Ready

On Friday, I walked into the Greensboro Women's Resource Center for a graduation ceremony. The 15 women in the New Choices program (job-readiness training for displaced homemakers) had completed their 40-hour program and were celebrating with certificates, cake, and individual recognition.

I arrived early and decided to slip upstairs to see Ashley, the Director of the Center and my  supervisor when I ran the New Choices program.  There was a TV crew in the lobby as I walked by.  "Are you Lisa?" they asked. Lisa is the PR director for the Center.  I shook my head and continued on.

 Upstairs, I walked into Ashley's office were she and Lisa stood conferring. "Hello!" they both gushed a bit too enthusiastically when I walked in the door. "Hi," I said and nodded to Lisa. "There's a camera crew downstairs looking for you."

Lisa grabbed my arm. "Listen,  how would you like to do me a big favor?" The camera crew was there to interview Lisa about general background on the Center--who they serve, who's eligible, their mission, etc. "Would you do it?" she asked.  (For personal reasons I won't go into here, Lisa was feeling a bit shy about appearing on camera).

And that's how I found myself being interviewed on camera five minutes later. Thank God I'd dressed decent that day. (I'd come close to the leaving the house in my Old Navy t-shirt that proclaims, "I Love Mom.")  The piece I was interviewed for is part of a larger production for Guilford County Schools and will also be translated into Spanish.

My 15-minutes (or rather, 1 minute) of fame complete, I walked into the graduation room. The New Choices program coordinator informed me her scheduled speaker had cancelled and would I mind saying a few words?  I was thrilled to--I hold a warm place in my heart for the women who gradate the New Choices Program... I can't say enough about their dedication and courage and hope at a better life.

So it was quite the media morning. I love how life is like that--you think you're showing up to sit in the back of a room and applaud and the next moment you're being miked for TV and making a small speech.  Makes getting out of bed each day just that much more interesting.

You may be scooping kitty poop out of the litter box right now, but who knows what magic the day holds?