50 Years and Counting

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I have coffee every morning at my gym with a group of retirees.  Last week, one of them mentioned he was taking his wife out to dinner to celebrate 55 years of marriage.

“Aw, you’re just a kid,” said another. “My wife and I are celebrating 62 years this August.”

“I’m getting close to celebrating 50 years myself,” said another.

There was silence as the group, who’ve known each other for years, exchanged puzzled looks. 

“Well, I mean, 50 years if you count them all up consecutively,” said the guy.

 I cracked up. Turns out he’s been married four times. “Just so you know,” I said, “That 50 years doesn’t count.”

“Time served is time served,” he said.

I love morning coffees.

Cheers,

Dena

As Heard On the Mountain

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Blair and I were texting this weekend, talking about vacations. I’ve been contemplating various itineraries and although I haven’t said anything to anyone,  a visit to Machu Picchu is near the top of my list. So it didn’t surprise me at all that Blair and I ended up having this text conversation:

Blair Harris: I'm contemplating Machu Picchu in October.

Dena Harris: OMG  - Machu Picchu is one of the places I was looking at with Road Scholar. I would crack up if we bumped into each other there.

Blair Harris: Wow.

Dena Harris: “Sooo… Hi, Blair.” (As heard on the mountain.)

Blair Harris: You're funny.

Dena Harris: “Hi Dena. F--k.” (As also heard on the mountain.)

If it would happen to anyone, it would happen to us.

Cheers,

Dena

The Dating Diaries: Splitting Hairs (and Checks)

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I love that when I blog about anything other than the guys I’ve dated, all anyone asks me is, “When are you going to post another Dating Diaries entry? We love those!” Never mind I’m beingattacked by serpent reptiles and have embarked on a new spiritual/emotional/mental connection to running. You want bad date stories. The people have spoken. Let’s do this.

Today’s installment really isn’t on “bad” dates. In fact, I’m still friends with most of the men the following snippets are about. These are more or less those small things that make you go, “Hmmm…”

OVERLY EXCITED GUY

This was a one-time date with someone who was way too young for me. I think he was 36 and not the brightest bulb in the box. Which fact I didn’t clue into until after we had agreed to meet. I knew I was courting trouble when I began to notice that this guy (kid) got really, really, really excited whenever we had the smallest match on interests. Our texts began to resemble this

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SNAKE!

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No, the cat did not drag a snake into the house--yet. But I fear it's coming. Here's why. 

Two days ago, my neighbor and I stepped outside our condo doors at the same time. She screamed. I jumped. The long black snake that caused her scream slithered away into the grass. 

I posted to Facebook. Snake in the area! Cat will probably find it! Oh no! Ha ha, very funny. People laughed. 

The next day I go home from lunch. Sunny. Beautiful. Back door wide open. Cat sunning himself on patio. I take large bite of tuna salad, look outside and almost choke. Freaking huge black snake slithering under my fence, up my patio walkway, toward my cat and my (cough-choke-gasp-gag) open door.

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