Dating Diaries: I’ll Pass On The Polyamorous

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POLYAMOROUS (as defined by Urban Dictionary): The state of having multiple sexually or romantically committed relationships at the same time, with the consent of all partners involved.

POLYAMOROUS (as defined by me): Asking for trouble.

NOTE: This is not my story to tell, other than a fact that I was a witness to it. You know if this happened to me that I’d have no issue calling it out. So thanks to my friend with enough self-confidence and a sense of humor to allow me to share her story here. 

Let’s set the scene. My friend is a stunningly beautiful woman, who annoys me to no end by also being smart, funny and sexy. (I don’t need the competition.) She's recently out of a long-term relationship and was introduced to an  (ahem!) much younger guy who expressed immediate interest

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Fluffing and Flushing

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Place: The early morning coffee circle at my gym

Cast: The group of retirees I hang with, including a gay couple who have been together for more than twenty years. 

The topic under discussion: Yard work

We got on the topic of yard work because I asked the couple where they'd been that they were so tan. 

"Oh, we're just out in our yard," said one man. "No one's yard looks better than ours. No one's." 

"We fluff our pine needles weekly," said the other man. 

HIs partner nodded agreement. "Oh yes. I mean, if people drive by and your pine needles aren't fluffed, they'll probably assume you're not flushing either. We can't have that." 

Oh. My. God. I died laughing. 

Happy Friday,

Dena

 

Late Night

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A couple of my girlfriends came over last night, just to hang out, watch movies, talk and drink wine. We ended up skipping the movie and focused more on the talking and wine drinking, catching up on each other's lives.

We'd been talking for a couple of hours when one of the women looked at her watch and said, "Oh my gosh, it's 9:40. It's getting late." My other friend jumped up and started collecting plates and wine glasses. 

I looked at them with tears in my eyes.

"I love you guys so much," I said. "9:40 pm and you think it's late. You are SO my people." 

We all travel to the beach together in the summer and it's perfect because we're all the same age and all on the same schedule. Up early, bed early. If we make it past 11 p.m. we congratulate each other on a long and rowdy night. 

Laugh now, but this is your future. 

Cheers,

Dena

 

They Weren’t All Bad

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In contrast to what I usually post (i.e., “I rock, men are stupid.), I’ve been challenged to share some happy examples from my time spent dating. This is both easier and harder than you may think. I’ve had more than my share of fun coffee or dinner dates where there was plenty of laughter and conversation. Those are difficult to write about, however, because who wants to read, “And then we shared a good laugh over office politics?”

Never one to shy away from a challenge though—and also to prove that I’m not a curmudgeon at heart—I give you three real-life, these-were-totally-awesome, dating moments.

Good Date #1

I met my date for a trail run (Calm down, Mom, it wasn’t a first date. I knew him.) with plans that we would grab a casual dinner after. Instead, at the end of the run he produced a picnic basket...

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