June 15, 2005

Quit ah stealin' my gators!

June 15, 2005/

This is too good not to share. Mom arrived home and had several messages on her machine. Here is a cut and paste from her e-mail to me:

Had 5 messages and one was from some hillybilly who said:

"Ah think this is the number for Jack and Ah'm gonna kick your ass! Yor' takin' all my gator business and Ah know it!"

I swear that is a quote. What next? Love, Mom

Dear Mom,
You leave those gaters alone.
Love,

Dena

Dena Harris

Author. Humorist. Fitness fanatic. Control freak. Mentor. Klutz. All-around decent human being.

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August 4, 2026

Well, This Is Awkward

August 4, 2026

March 4, 2018

Here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty…

March 4, 2018

I want a cat.

There, I’ve said it. Proclaimed my intent to the Universe. Although I’m only willing to accept moderate blame when events transpire to actually bring a cat into my life.

I have no business getting a cat. A few strong reasons off the top of my head include:

I’m allergic.
My lease doesn’t currently allow for pets.
I’m allergic.
I’M NEVER HOME. This poor animal would be alone 80% of the time.
The last thing I need are more expenses in my life.
Did I mention that I’m allergic?

And yet.

March 4, 2018

February 18, 2018

So, You Know About the Atlanta Traffic, Right?

February 18, 2018

When I began sharing the news that I had taken a new job near Atlanta and was moving . . . spreading my wings. . . opening myself to new horizons. . . without fail the first comment from almost everyone was, “OMG. You know about the traffic there, right?”

Yes, I am aware of the traffic. Thank you for your loving concern and support.

So how bad is it really? Having lived here now for three months, I can tell you that the 12-mile drive to my office from home can take anywhere between. . .

February 18, 2018

January 21, 2018

Will Run for Friends

January 21, 2018

One of the hardest decisions in moving to Atlanta was knowing I would be leaving behind my 25-year network of friends. These are friends that saw me through job changes (insurance adjuster, librarian, author, marketing maven), life changes (divorce, moves, dating), as well as were there for everything from my first published book to my first marathon to holding my hand when my cat died. A lot of years, a lot tears, much more laughter, and oodles and oodles of love.

In other words—not something easily replaced.

Of course, I’m not “leaving behind” friends but since the five-hour drive between Atlanta and Greensboro isn’t convenient for a quick movie or fro-yo meet-up, the burden is on me to make new friends.

The obvious place to make friends, for me, is the gym. I joined a big-ass Lifetime Fitness...

January 21, 2018

January 17, 2018

The Saga of the License Plate

January 17, 2018

As most of you know, after 20+ years in NC, I’ve recently relocated to Georgia, about an hour outside of Atlanta. More updates on that later. Right now, I want to share with you the saga of the license plate. It’s a story that more or less sums up my life. What takes other people twenty minutes, takes me 9 weeks, 8 phone calls, 4 DMV visits and a two-week plan to evade the law.

It all started the week I moved to Georgia. I was checking things off my list right and left (pictures hung in new home - check. Food in fridge – check. Wall art for half-bath – check, check, check) and in an effort to be pro-active, toddled off to the DMV to get my GA driver’s license. I showed up prepared for anything – NC driver’s license, passport, pay stub, and invoices from gas, electric and trash removal verifying my new address. I approached the teller window.

Teller: “Social security card.”

Me: “I don’t have that, but here’s my passport.”

Teller: “I can’t issue you a license without a social security card.”

January 17, 2018

September 25, 2017

When you make the infographic. . .

September 25, 2017

August 28, 2017

5 Training Tips Anyone Can Use

August 28, 2017

I get a lot of questions about the best ways to train. Which, considering I spent the earlier part of this year on crutches, unable to run for four months due to an overuse injury that could have been avoided, I find somewhat amusing. Then there’s the immediate back-pedalling that takes place, usually in the form of, “But I don’t want to run, or get up at 4 am, or do anything that’s hard.”

Gotcha. I can work with that.

Below are five training tips I try to follow. I say try because let’s be honest—we’re all human and some days will be better than others. But these are the big picture items that have kept me pushing for the last ten years, and they are things anyone can adopt into their lifestyle.

1. Pick Something You Love

I can’t count the number of times people say to me, “Ugh, I know I need to run but I hate it.” Um… why exactly do you need to run? I hate Pure Barre and even though my butt never looked better during the month I took classes, I’m not going back.

August 28, 2017

July 3, 2017

Raleigh 70.3, Part III: The Run

July 3, 2017

When I first signed up for this half Ironman, I knew my swim would be slow and my ride would be average, so the plan was to make-up some time on the run. The Universe had other plans though, and handed me the stress fracture in my hip. It was literally only days before the race when my chiropractor agreed that I could try a walk/run of the course, but only if I swore a blood oath that if it hurt, I would stop. And, in a cruel twist of fate, advised that my best strategy would be to run the uphills and walk the down. That goes against everything I hold dear in life, but okay. I figured I would run a mile/walk a mile throughout the race for as long as I could.

My strategy worked perfectly… for the first quarter mile.

July 3, 2017

June 27, 2017

Raleigh 70.3, Part II: THE BIKE

June 27, 2017

(ICYMI: Part I: THE SWIM)

Let’s call it like it is. I crushed the ride on this race. 18.71 average speed. My normal pace with a group where I’m drafting is closer to 17.5, so I had aspirations of maybe holding a 17 mph average. Crushed. It.

What helped me is my Garmin died before the ride even started, so I had no idea for the entire 56 miles what my pace was. I just rode according to how I felt. The first 3-5 miles were shaky (I kept repeating, “You’re out of the water. You’re alive.”), but then we turned right onto the highway, I settled into my arrow bars and literally said out loud, “Let’s make some time.”

Fun fact: They mark your age in sharpie on your left calf in an Ironman race. Not sure why, but...

June 27, 2017

June 22, 2017

Raleigh 70.3, Part I: THE SWIM

June 22, 2017

On Sunday, June 4, I completed my first (because there will be more) Half Ironman. 1.2 mile swim. 56 mile bike ride. 13.1 mile run.

Being my first IM, there’s a lot to process, especially as I didn’t think I’d be able to complete the race due to my hip injury. I am thrilled beyond all words that I finished and probably most proud of the fact that I have (as of yet) to get the IM tattoo splattered across, you know, my face.

June 22, 2017

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Quit ah stealin' my gators!

Dena Harris

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