I am sick of volunteering, sick of giving my time and services away for free. I know that's a terrible thing to say and I also know it's coming from a morning of frustration, spent at my desk spending hours wrapping up itty-bitty tasks and details not directly related to my work or income.
I certainly don't want my life to be just about money, and it isn't, but I am just burnt. It seems like in every group there is always the core group of 3-4 people who do all the work and, inevitably, I end up in that core group. I am tired of making phone calls, tired of being the one to follow-up on details, and sick to death of seemingly being one of only 6 people on the planet capable of following through on my word. Where the **** is everyone else???
This is my own fault, I know. I'm the one that agreed to the roles and responsibilities so I have no one to blame but myself. And the work sounds so meager when I agree to it. Sure, I can make a couple of phone calls. Why, it will only take 10 minutes to type up those notes. And on and on until I've screwed myself.
Just last Friday I found myself agreeing to speak to a networking group of unemployed persons at our city's JobLink center. I couldn't say no. I used to work there so I know how hard it is to find qualified not to mention interesting speakers. Plus, the people there looking for work try so hard and a little motivation would take them a long way. Plus, look at all I have in life. It would be selfish of me not to give back. So I said yes.
I hung up the phone and it hit me what I'd done. The JobLink center is 50 minutes away from where I live and I'd drive in on a day when I have no other appointments in Greensboro. That's over an hour and a half drive to speak, for free, for 45 minutes. That's a lot of work time wasted.
I wrestled with it all weekend, guilt doing a number on me. (I hate backing out of things I've given my word on). But the event is over a month away and there's time to find a replacement so I called today and cancelled. I have mixed feelings--relief, because I didn't have the time to fool with putting a speech together, anger at myself that I agreed to it instead of just saying "no" in the first place, and of course, guilt because I backed out.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have about another hour's worth of volunteer work to do. My new motto: "Just say NO."