The Magical Mail Bin

Our system for sorting mail is that I bring the mail in--immediately tearing open anything that looks like it may contain a check--then toss the rest into a medium-sized basket that sits on our hallway table.  Blair flips through the basket when he gets home--immediately tearing open anything that looks like it may have to do with building a log cabin--letting the rest sit.

Our intention is always to "handle" the rest of the mail later that evening, after we've had a chance to relax. What happens  instead is the mail bin becomes a vortex for unwanted flyers, priority-approved credit card offers, and free panty with purchase cards from Victoria's  Secret.

About once a month, the sides of the basket bulge enough to concern one of us, and we'll undertake to empty out the sludge of scrap papers. I did this yesterday and was, as always, amazed at what I unearthed.

Aside from expired offers or "To: Resident" mail, our mailbox magically breeds pens and loose coins.  Yesterday there were 6 pens in the bin, 2 of which were high caliber, and there was also one capless yellow highlighter. I also scored 63 cents in change and found my missing sunglasses. A client's business card I'd been looking for appeared, as did a grocery list from 2 months ago. Neither Blair nor I recall placing these items in the basket which leads us to the only logical, rational conclusion: mail fairies.

In the hopes of earning more cash and/or being granted new mechanical pencils, we now leave out cookies and milk at night for the magical mail fairies who are the bearer of all things good plus not-to-be-believed below prime credit offers.  We're hoping that by acting now, we'll be able to take advantage of the hot, hot deals these fairies have to offer.

I encourage all of you to support your local mail fairies. And ladies, let's gather up those Victoria Secret cards and I'll meet you at the mall.

Happy shopping.