The other week I dragged Blair to see the teenage vampire romance New Moon, part of the Twilight series. I was introduced to the books by my niece when they first came out. "They are the most romantic books ever!" she exclaimed. The books aren't a bad read. My only real complaint is that each book in the saga is approximately 300 pages of Edward the vampire telling Bella, "I love you and must be near you!" to "But no, it's wrong. We must remain apart," and back to "But my soul yearns for you. If only I could kiss you! But no... I must not." On and on and on...
Coming from a teen's perspective, I totally get the yearning/romance angle. As an adult, however, I really want to tell the characters to just make a freaking decision and move on with their lives.
So, Blair manned up and agreed to take me to see the movie. We saw it on a Sunday in a theatre in Greensboro, surrounded by approximately 200 hormonal, giggling, teenage girls. "I can't believe you talked me into this," he muttered as we took our seats.
"Are you kidding me?" I asked, clutching his hand. "I wouldn't miss seeing this with you for the world. It's so romantic."
I admit it - I enjoyed watching Blair's pain. Every time Edward (the vampire) or Jacob (the werewolf) appeared on screen, there were squeals of delight from the audience. Blair sunk lower and lower in his chair as the movie played on. Finally, there came a scene when the actor who plays Jacob rips off his shirt to make a tourniquet for Bella, revealing a ripped, buffed, and tanned torso that seemed to expand across the screen.
The teen girls went nuts, clutching each other, squealing, and spilling their popcorn as they swooned toward the screen. Grinning, I glanced at Blair, who was clutching his head. "I will never forgive you for this," he whispered.
I leaned in close and squealed, " I am SO team Jacob!" (I'm probably old enough to be that actor's mother but, whatever, that kid is smokin' hot.)
Driving home, Blair gripped the wheel with white knuckles and gazed straight ahead. "I'm going to need some time alone tonight to play Wizards of War," he said. "I'm feeling the need to just blow some things up."
Poor guy. At least he has 7 months to recover before the next movie comes out. We'll be seeing that together as well as I bet it will be THE MOST ROMANTIC THING.. EVER!!!