My Life As A Sitcom

I really think I missed my calling in life. I should be the head writer for some prime-time sitcom about a married couple and the wacky exploits they get into when the harebrained wife does things like forces her long-suffering husband to go vegan, forcefully brings stray cats into their home, and, oh, I don't know... pours a bottle of olive oil on her head? 

Seriously. What is the matter with me? Why do I do these things? Or rather, why do I do the things other people do that works out fine for them but turns into an I Love Lucy episode for me? 

Okay, so, the olive oil. My scalp has been dry and itchy lately. Not dandruff. I have dry skin and pile on two showers a day, blow-drying, and electric heat in the house, and conditions are just right for scalp that needs a little TLC. 

So I did some reading on the Internet and many, many sites advised heating up some olive oil and massaging that into the scalp, letting it sit for about 10 minutes. 

I'm all over it. I pour maybe 1/4 cup of olive oil into a sauce pan and bring to a low heat. I carry the pan into the bathroom, dip my fingers in the olive oil, and start massaging into my scalp. All is well. I let it sit for a few minutes and then hop into the shower. Hmm... did those sites say to shampoo the olive oil out of the hair or just rinse it out? I decide to rinse. The olive oil is working as a deep conditioner so, at worst, my hair might feel a little greasy today. And besides, more than likely most of the oil has been rinsed out anyway.

I get out of the shower, towel off, and start to blow dry my hair. I'm blow drying and blow drying and blow drying. (Pause) And blow drying... and blow drying...

Crap. My hair looks just as sopping wet as it did when I exited the shower. Except now it's dry. It's just so freaking soaked in olive oil that even dry, I'm sporting that 80's "wet hair" look. I could light a small campfire on my head and my hair is still going to look like I'm fresh out of the shower. Oh -- and I smell like a salad. 

The easiest thing would be to get back in the shower and shampoo, but at this point I'm dressed with makeup on and work to do. So what the heck? I'll just proclaim today "Flashdance / Footloose / Big Hair 80's Day" and make it work. 

I still think I should write for sitcoms, though.