The Life & Times of Albert The Bug
Police sketch of AlbertYesterday afternoon, I noticed a small, flat-backed, gray-brown bug near the top of the kitchen sink.
"Bug," I said to Blair, pointing at it. (This is marital code for: "Deal with it.")
"That's Albert," said Blair. (Marital code for: "It's just a bug and I'm trying to make a sandwich and if it bothers you so much, you deal with it.")
I didn't want to deal with it, so Albert stayed. His presence quickly grew on us. About an hour later, I went to put a glass in the sink and noticed Albert had shifted position about a foot to the left.
"Hi, Albert," I said. I heard Blair offer a similar greeting when he returned to the kitchen for a snack.
Early evening, I go into the kitchen to make dinner. As I'm pouring steaming hot pasta water into the colander to drain the spaghetti, I see Albert perilously close to where the water is splashing up in the sink.
"Albert, look out!" I cried.
We were cleaning dishes up from dinner when I asked Blair what he thought Albert ate.
"I don't know that we need to carry it that far," he said.
Huh. In my book, if you name something, it's a pet for life and now you're responsible for it.
Which is why I'm sad to announce that Albert has disappeared. He was nowhere to be found this morning. Maybe we just didn't love him enough. Maybe he was bored. Or hungry.
Or maybe he was just a bug. But he was a good bug. Our bug.
We miss you, Albert.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010 at 11:27 AM | Dena Harris | 6 Comments | Email Article | Share via Digg | Print Article | tagged pets, smug marrieds in Entertainment, Home Life, Married Life 
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Reader Comments (6)
When you said if you name it...it's a pet...When I was about 12 or so there was this stray cat that hung around our yard. My dad would always say we couldnt have another pet...so if we didnt name it ....you guessed it....it wasnt a pet....So 10 yeard later "Black Cat" was still hanging around!
Glad to hear we're not the only couple that go through this kind of thing. We have done this more than once. I'll tell the hubs there's a bug somewhere (usually a spider around here) and he'll say "That's....." whatever name he's come up with. And I always feel a bit sad when they disappear.
Albert's cousin, "Herman" lives at our house.
I loved this: "I don't know that we need to carry it that far," he said.
Brightened an otherwise yukky day, thanks. Tomorrow I'll try to Blairify things.
:)
I love those little beetles. There's something prehistorically cute about them. And somehow, Albert seems like a perfect name for one. Here's hoping Albert makes a return appearance. He probably just went for a walk.