We got hit this weekend with about 10" of snow. Because I am a calm, rational, hard-core Mid-Westerner, I don't follow the rest of the lemmings to the supermarket at the first hint of snow, stocking up on bread, milk, batteries and duct tape as though Armageddon is at hand.

This, I believe, makes me intellectually superior to those around me.

It also makes me stuck in the house with no damn food to eat. 

Except that's not entirely true. Peering into the back of cupboards and digging way way down into the bottom of the freezer, it turns out we have plenty of food on hand. It's just crap that neither or us want to eat. 

How does this food make it into our house? Why do I own a whole bag of Amaranth grain when I don't even know what Amaranth grain is? And at what point did I stand in the frozen food food aisle at a supermarket and think, "Creamed spinach sounds good. Better stock up."? 

Regardless, the food is here and what better week to force ourselves to eat it? I made a list of our meals for the next few days that looks like this:

•  Defrost chili in freezer, make spicy skillet cornbread (which is baking as I type this. Oh yum... so good!)
• 1 hamburger and bun (we can arm wrestle for it)
• 1 tortilla with leftover onion/corn/bean/rice filling
• 2 freezer-burned fish fillets. Serve with frozen vegetable medley purchased in early 2004.
• Canned minestrone soup. Serve with garlic bread made from lone remaining hot dog bun.
• Sweet potato with butter and brown sugar
• Rice and black beans topped with cheese

 For snacks we have granola bars, cereal, dried dates, rye crackers (another 2004 purchase), sorbet, and a tiny bit of yogurt and granola. 

I need to run to the store for fruit and salad, but I'm hesitant. If I step foot inside the store, I know I'll end up doing a week's worth of shopping and then all the food listed above will have to return to their sad little looked-over lives. 

It's like the Island of Misfit Toys, only with food. Well, I say no more! The fish fillets have waited long enough. Their time has come.

Ho, ho, ho!