Okay, so I wrote this blog post that's really whiny and boring. If you have trouble sleeping, click on the "Read More" link and view the original post. Really, all I wanted to say was this:
I wish I could lose 4 pounds before Boston. Doing so would require me to alter my diet. I lack the discipline to do so. I wonder why? I can run 20 miles and not eat meat for 22 years but not eating rice or bread (or eating less of them) for three weeks is out of the question?
How is that possible? Why can I be so hardcore disciplined in some areas of life and feel I have no control in others?
That's all I really wanted to say.
ORIGINAL (WHINY) POST
I'm a fairly disciplined individual. (Hey! You there in the back mouthing the words, "Anal and uptight." Just shush and try to be supportive.) I've recently been wondering, though, how I can be so disciplined and exacting in some areas of life and so flailing-limbs-spastic in other areas.
Take running. It's probably not PC to admit but every time someone says to me, "I can't imagine running 10-18-26 miles," it makes my training that much easier. Why? 'Cause I can do it. Running long distances is just a matter of making the commitment and sticking to the program. I can make myself do that.
Committing to being a vegetarian requires discipline. I still LOVE the smell of bacon (c'mon, who doesn't?) but you can sit a full platter in front of me and it's not even an effort for me to turn away. Same with steak, lobster, and hamburgers. They're just not an option.
Throw in some serious discipline required to work from home and actually get work done, a fairly regimented bedtime and wake-up routine, and a possibly unhealthy obsession with organizing the kitchen cupboards, and you've got a woman with some serious concentration and commitment abilities here.
Which is why it is almost BEYOND ME why I struggle with the things I do. I may have total control if you stick a bowl of Lay's potato chips in front of me, but swap out those chips for M&M's and I will do some damage. Same thing with ice-cream, bread, cereal, peanut butter, and Chinese food. How can I be so in control in some areas of my diet and so "Hand over the Snickers and no one gets hurt" at the same time? I've been trying for two months now to lose a couple of pounds before Boston. But I have to admit to a serious lack of discipline in my life when it comes to snacking and carbs.
E-mail is another example. I have pledged to reduce the number of times I check e-mail throughout the day more often than I can count. Do I stick to the plan? No. Do I even make it a week? No.
And what about writing? (SIDE NOTE: Iris, I started that sentence with an "and" just for you.) I'm unbelievably disciplined about doing work for clients, but what about my promises to make time each day or week for my writing? I'd have 30 novels written by now if I'd stuck to my vows of how often I was going to find time to write.
I get it, I get it. We can't be perfect all the time. I'm not asking to be. I skip a workout or procrastinate on a project just like the next person. I don't mind the small slips. Because I know that's what they are - temporary slips that I'll soon right.
One of my goals for this summer is to pay some serious attention to my diet and get it under control. Also to disengage from the computer more often and spend more hours reading and writing. I'm quite optimistic it will all happen. But then again, I always am.
How about you, readers? Any suggestions or struggles you'd like to share about finding discipline in your life?