I was cleaning house this morning and I think I had some sort of religious experience in between dusting and using the last of the toilet bowl cleaner. I was going along, minding my own business, when I was struck full force by the realization that I couldn't remember the last time I had dusted the blinds. Then it occurred to me that the windows also need cleaned. And when was the last time I really scrubbed down the fridge?
I found myself in the grips of a full-fledged cleaning frenzy. Not that I actually did any of the work, mind you. Instead, I did what I do best. I made a list.
Yes, a list of the many things around here that need to be done and -- given the zeal with which I ran to grab paper and pen -- apparently must be done NOW. Poor Blair has no idea what he's going to get hit with when he walks through that door tonight. The beginning of the "honey-let's-do-it-together" list looks something like this:
- Dust all the blinds
- Clean the windows, inside and out. (You'd have to see our house to appreciate the enormity of this task)
- Empty out the fridge and wipe it down
- Repot all the plants
- Touch up paint on the woodwork in every room
- Polyeurethane all the hardwood floors
- Price out replacement screen doors for the front and side doors
- Bleach out the water line in the upstairs toilet
- Go through the zillions of photos we have and select some for framing and hanging in what is now currently the great blank orange hall
- Clean out the silverware drawer. (For the life of me, I will never understand how crumbs and dust get in there)
- Grow an indoor herb garden
About that last one, at some point I moved from "spring cleaning" to "home and life goals." The list just spirals out of control from here.
Once I get it in my system that I must Martha-Stewart clean, I won't let go until it's done. This causes some tension in the household as I grow frustrated that Blair doesn't always share my sense of urgency that the windows shine or the cats' litterbox gleam RIGHT NOW BEFORE WE GO TO BED BECAUSE IF WE LET IT GO UNTIL TOMORROW IT WON'T GET DONE AND THEN THAT WILL BE THE END OF LIFE ON THE PLANET AS WE KNOW IT.
I'm on it. Look out silverware drawer. Here I come.