Smug Marrieds: Coupon King

I don't know if I've ever mentioned it before, but I married Coupon King.

Maybe it's the CPA in him or maybe it's just the instinctual male urge to hunt and conquer, but Blair can track down a bargain like nobody's business. He'll leave the house at 8 am on a Sunday to get to CVS when it opens so he can swoop up armfuls of Kleenex tissue or Maxwell House Coffee on sale. Going through the aisles of the grocery store, I stand and watch him perform Nobel Peace prize worthy mathematical computations to figure out whether the canned peas on sale are a deal or a dud. And always the southern gentleman, bargain hunting mode is one of the few times Blair will knock old ladies aside to get to what he wants. 

I'm always in favor of a bargain but not willing to put in the work Blair does. If it's there in front of me and it's a decent enough price, I buy it.

This weekend Blair handed me a CVS bonus coupon. We'd accumulated enough points buying toilet paper and greeting cards and what not that we had a free $5 to spend. 

"Perfect!" I said. "I need some eye makeup remover anyway." 

"Here are a few more coupons about to expire," said Blair, handing me about twelve different coupons for everything from $1 off any Cover Girl make-up product to a whole bunch of $5 and $10 off coupons for Oil of Olay regenerist skin care.

I drove to CVS and picked up my eye makeup remover. It was $5.25 which meant we'd pay .25 cents for it. Score. Then I looked at the wad of coupons in my hand. I didn't really need anything but it seemed a shame to let them go to waste so I wandered over to the skin care and make-up aisle.

I arrived home 30 minutes later laden with two bags of products. "Thanks for the $5 off coupon," I said. "I ended up spending $42." 

"Woman! On what?" asked Blair. 

I nosed through my bags. "Oil of Olay products were 20% off plus I had the coupons you gave me. I saved $12," I said. "I thought you'd be proud." 

I didn't really think he'd be proud, but it was worth a shot. And it paid off. 

"Really? Twelve dollars? That's pretty good. Can I see the receipt?" 

I handed him the receipt and he wandered off into the happy bargain hunter/CPA land of percentages and math. He got what he wanted--a bargain, and I got what I wanted--age defying moisturizer. 

Don't you just love happy endings?