This is a slightly modified blog post from my other blog at www.PaleoVegetarians.com. If you haven't checked out that site yet, take a look and tell me what you think.
I spent the better part of today in a local coffeehouse, typing away on my laptop as I nursed a large decaf coffee. At one point the shop was filled with the tantalizing smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. The owner, whom I'm friendly with, stopped by my table with a large, gooey cookie.
"On the house," he said.
"Oh, thank you," I said. "I appreciate it, but I'm going to have to pass. I'm trying not to eat grains."
Can you spot the misstep? It's the word, "trying."
When I tell others I'm "trying" not to eat grains, or I'm "trying" to give up dairy or I'm "hoping" to convert to full Paleo Vegetariansim, what I'm really doing is telling them--and myself--that it's something I haven't fully committed to.
A better response would have been, "Thank you so much, that's very kind, but I don't eat grains."
It's polite but definitive. With "I'm trying not to," I leave myself open to people encouraging me to splurge "just this one time." I'm only "trying" so there's wiggle room. If I don't eat grains, period, there's no where to go.
I notice I feel stronger and more in control when I tell myself I don't eat wheat or I don't eat dairy versus when I think of myself as trying to give them up.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized this applies to all areas of life. Am I "trying" to write every day or do I write every day? Am I "hoping" to finish my novel this year or am I finishing my novel this year?
Either I'm in or out. Make the call.