I think I made a breakthrough in my workout today or, rather, in my mindset around my workout.
Crossfit WOD's (workout-of-the-day) are typically set up so there's a beginner, prescribed and advanced level of the workout. The advanced is so far beyond my current skill level, I just ignore it. I'm beyond beginner level but, when weights are involved, have never felt comfortable with the prescribed weight. I always convince myself it's just a little too heavy or just beyond my capabilities and so I usually use a weight that's 10-15 lbs under what's prescribed.
This is pure ego.
Crossfit workouts are timed and we're competing against ourselves and other people. I don't like using heavier weights because it slows my time down. I go slower, rest longer. But guess what? That's what's supposed to happen.
Today I decided enough with the ego. I'm doing the workout and if I'm the last one to finish, I'm the last one to finish. We do a 21-15-9 workout where we did 21 ground to overhead (GTO) thrusts with a weighted bar, followed by 21 burpees, 15 GTO, 15 burpees, etc. The prescribed weight for females was 65 lbs and I did it. I was the second to last person to finish but I did it. What's more, I feel really good about being almost last simply because I did the workout the way it's supposed to be done. No slacking off, no compensating. My arms were ready to DIE by the last round but I muscled through.
So right now, physically, I'm wiped. But it's a fantastic mental start to my day. I can't guarantee I'll remain ego free but I am going to make a concerted effort to "man up" and do the prescribed workout and not worry about competing or my time.