Dating Diaries: He's Single

People, I have reached a new low. A friend texted me yesterday. Here's her message, in full:

"I have someone for you to go out with. He's single."

Really? This is the new standard by which I'll date? "He's single?" What happened to smart, funny, cute?" "He's single" is like saying, "Well, he's of the human species. I think. Wait--let me check his Linked In profile."

Awesome. Can't wait to meet. 

How are people describing me to potential dates? "She's a girl." That's it folks, bottom-line it for us single people.

Of course, I can't complain too much. My response? "Yeah, okay, whatever. Set me up."