The Cats Take Over

This is Olivia, our youngest. Every morning when Blair sits at the computer, she climbs in his lap to be combed. Me, not so much. She demands I vacate the chair so she can curl up in its warmth and only then will she allow me to comb her.

Until this morning, that is. I did not feel like handing over control of the chair so I scooped her up and deposited her in my lap. That lasted for all of .000046 seconds, but instead of hopping down, she created a new home for herself on top of the sliding tray that holds our keyboard. No longer shall it be known as the keyboard tray. From this day forth, it is now the new and improved kitty grooming area.

Olivia was living it up--purring and rolling over and having a fine time (until Mommy ruined it by grabbing the camera). Still, my girl is a cute one. Gutsy too. Lucy has claimed a corner of our couch for the past 2 months and spends all her time there.  Lo and behold yesterday afternoon I came downstairs to find Olivia curled up in Lucy's spot on the sofa and one ticked-off black and white cat pacing the floor beneath her.

"You're on your own," I informed Olivia. "I can't help you here."

I don't know what transpired, but when I came downstairs again 30 minutes later, Lucy was on the sofa and Olivia nowhere to be found. 

Frankly, I'm happier not knowing.

No More Little Scaredy Cat

When we first brought Olivia (our forever kitten) home, she hid under the couch in the front room for 6 weeks. To pet her we had to lie on the floor, shove ourselves halfway under the sofa and then pull her out. She would put out a big purr as we petted her, but whether from fear or pleasure we weren't sure. Six weeks... for awhile we thought we'd made a mistake. 

Now flashback to last night. Blair went to bed before me and Olivia was lying horizontal across the bed. I have a rule about not disturbing resting cats (unless it's to smother them in kisses) and so I squeezed into the remaining space. That left Olivia's head near my knee and her back feet touching Blair.  When I went to bed, Olivia had been awake, sitting up Syphnx-like. Now I felt a soft thump and leaned my head up to look at her. She was curled in a half-moon pose, her head resting on my knee, her little body rising and falling with the steady inhale/exhale of her breathing.

I lay back down and was just overcome with feelings of love. My baby! This was the little kitty who we thought would never come around. And really, I'd say it's only been in the past year that her affectionate side has really come out--and this is her 5th year with us. (Hey--guess who just showed up and is winding around my feet as I type this?)

I just loved that she could chose to be anywhere in the house and she wanted to be curled up between Blair and myself. It's like having a great honor bestowed upon you. Everyone should have pets for the feelings of love and gratitude they induce.   

The cat that once once the great hider is now our little snuggler. She would have us pet her 24/7 if given her way. Seven out of ten times when she sees us coming, she flops on her back and stares hopefully at us, begging for a belly rub.

Right now, if you have pets, stop whatever you're doing and go give them a smooch. They're the best. 

Muse Medallion

A small brag. I was so focused on sharing my "left my wallet in the cab" story I neglected to mention the outcome of the awards banquet I attended Saturday night.  This is the cat writers association annual banquet and I'd entered my work in three categories - humor column, individual humor piece, gift book.

The way the judging works is that 3 independent judges rate your piece and you must score an average of 90% between the 3 judges to be awarded what's called a "Certificate of Excellence." Then all Certificate of Excellence winners in a category compete for the Muse Medallion, which is the highest award bestowed. It's a matter of points--whoever has the most wins.

I was a Certificate of Excellence winner in all 3 categories, but had hopes of winning a Muse Medallion only in two. My book was up against Chicken Soup for the Cat Lovers Soul and I harbored no illusions of the outcome in that area.  And sure enough, I lost that category and the humor column. Then they came to the individual humor piece. Before the winner is announced, the mc reads the judges comments.  For the humor piece, one comment was, "...the perfect humor article. There is nothing that could be done to improve it..."

"Oh shoot, I didn't win," I thought. But wait--yes--that was my name being called.  Even better than winning the category was the cheer I heard as I walked to the stage to collect the medal.  Cat writers are wonderfully supportive people and I received a big burst of applause which meant the world to me.

So now I have a big honkin' cat medal staring me in the face from the corner of my bulletin board where I have oh-so-causally draped it.  On the back is engraved, "Dena Harris - Humor - 2006."

I'm very pleased.

If You Can't Operate A Seat Buckle, You're Beyond My Help

Greetings all! I'm sitting in a business center in my hotel in California, feeding my e-mail addiction. Thought I'd pop in here and share a chuckle with you.

Let me start with a shout-out to "Dan" who was the flight attendant on American Airlines from NC to Chicago on the 12:30 PM Thursday flight.  Dan needs to quit his job as a flight attendant and go into stand-up comedy.

We're sitting on a little commuter plane and as the door closes, Dan turns to us and says, "Now it's time for the exciting safety presentation I'm sure none of you have ever heard before. " We all chuckled. Dan held up the sample seatbelt. "Okay, I'll show you how to work this but honestly, if you don't have it down by now you're probably beyond my help."

That got laughs. He went on to mime the words of the pre-recorded safety tape that broadcast over the plane and then said, "Oh! Listen--this is my favorite euphemism." The woman on the tape said, "In the event of a..." and Dan mimed big quote marks in the air, "WATER LANDING..."

"Right," said Dan. "Because we really  meant for THAT to happen."

The woman's voice continued, "Please use your seat cushion as a flotation device..."

"I don't think that's been tested," said Dan. "They look like they'd sink to me."

People were howling. Everyone on the plane was watching the safety demonstration, waiting to see what Dan would do next.

He showed us how to use the oxygen masks that dropped down, making a face as he pulled it over his head, as if it stank. The woman's voice droned on, "...If traveling with a small child, secure your mask first and then your child's."

"And if you're traveling with two children, pick your favorite," cracked Dan.

At the end of the safety demonstration, the plane erupted in spontaneous applause. What an effective way to get people to pay attention. I know that's probably the first safety presentation I've actually watched in 10 years.

So I arrived safe and sound in California. The hotel reeks of cats, which I don't recall from prior years. I must be on a floor with a number of unfixed Tom cats as their urine is usually much more potent than a fixed cats. Regardless, it stinks.

Later today I'll head over to the Cat Fanciers National Contest and do a 1-hour book signing and then wander rows and rows and rows of felines. I will be in cat heaven. If I can get a cab waiting for me, I may just grab a Persian and run.

Wish me luck.