The Tree Gods Will Get Me

I'm sitting in front of my computer (obviously) watching as the Epson printer to my left churns out document after document.  "Wa-hoo, wa-hoo, wa-hoo, wa-hoo..." is the noise it makes as it spews out copy after copy. 

I look to my right and there are no less than eight different mounds of paper piled around the floor.  The cats weave in and out of the stacks as if they're participating in a life-size maze (pausing, of course, to rub their faces against the corner of each stack thereby declaring it "mine"). The desk behind me is...well, the desk is not visible at the moment, as it's piled high with "already copied," "to be copied," "need to decide if I'm copying or not" and other piles of paper of varying degree of importance.

The environmental god (walking the earth this moment under the guise of Leonardo DiCaprio) will get me for this.  I have the equivalent of a small forest laid in front of me. An unexpected breeze that ruffled the piles would be all it takes to send me over the edge.

Most of it will disappear after class tomorrow. I upped the ante from my 20 handouts and added 5 more.  (UNC-G did offer to reimburse me for paper or ink, so kudos to them.) 

I think I'll go outside and water a bush or something.  You know, just to make amends.

Dena

Converting to An Audio Book

I received an e-mail this morning from a woman who asked if I might be making Lessons In Stalking available as an audio book any time soon.  Her mom had a stroke 3 years ago and now listens to most books on audio.  But, she described her mom as "that crazy cat lady" who used to have 7 cats and still has 3, and who would love the humor in the book.  So I'm going to spend part of today researching how to make this happen.  It's always been in the back of my mind as a "I need to look into that someday," but I'm taking this e-mail as a nudge from the Universe that it's time to make it happen.  Actually, it's a double nudge, because yesterday I was reading my online newsletter from Dan Poynter, and a blurb about marketing your book not only as a paper book, but also as an audio book, e-book, etc. caught my attention.  I blew it off, but combined with this morning's e-mail, it seems someone is trying to tell me something.

The Guessing Game

When I speak on interviewing to high school kids or to the displaced homemakers at the local Women's Resource Center where I volunteer, I typically start with an exercise that goes like this:

I'll come to the front of the room and before I say anything about the workshop or why I'm there I ask everyone to take a out pen and paper. I ask them to write down their answers to the following questions, being sure to tell them that they will NOT have to share their answers with me, so please be honest.  I ask them:

• How old do you think I am?
• Do you think I am homosexual or heterosexual?
• Do you think I am single, married, living with someone, separated, divorced, or widowed?
• Do I have kids?  If so, how many and what do you think are their ages?
• What's the highest level of education you think I've obtained?
• What religious group, if any, do you think I'm a member of?
• How much money do you think I earn?
• What's my ethnic background?
• What part of the country was I raised in?
• Have I travelled outside the U.S.?
• Do I own my own home?
• Do I have a car?
• Do I speak a second language?  If so, what?
• Then I ask them if, from the two minutes I've been standing in front of them they think that a) I have worthwhile advice to impart to them and b) if they think they'll enjoy class with me.

Then I'll ask the class if they think they got every question right.  The answer is always no.  But, I emphasize, from pretty much just looking at me and listening to me say a few sentences, they hold these guesses--or opinions--on me on these various topics.  Heads nod.

"Is this fair?" I'll ask the group. 

"No!" is the answer. 

"But is this reality and something you have to deal with?" I ask. 

"Yes," they say. 

"Yes," I affirm, and we go from there.

The point is to show how snap judgements are made by people, and then we cover ways to overcome some of those judgements (through non-verbal body language, eye contact, dress for success, etc.).  The question I usually trip people up on is the kids question.  Most people answer that they think I have kids and look surprised when I tell them I don't.

What has become "disturbing" about this exercise is the age question.  I'll always give them my age to see who came close and historically people would always underestimate my age.  So when I was 28, people would guess 23.  Or when I was 32, people would guess 26.

When I spoke to the high school kids on Tuesday and said, "I'm 35," most raised their hands, cheering that they got it right.  One girl sighed, "Oh, I was close.  I guessed 36." 

Regardless of my drama (I came home and took two Dove Dark Chocolate nuggets to ease the pain), it's a good exercise to do.  I encourage people in my classes to start paying attention to people in restaurants, airports, malls, or wherever, and see if they can recognize some of the snap judgements they're making just based on appearance.  And then I ask them to remember this exercise and that not everything is as it appears.

We're all guilty of making inferences, but it's helpful to at least have some conscious recognition that you're doing it.

Speaking to High School Kids

It's 12 pm and I'm sitting in a Panera, killing time before my speech at 1:15  to a group of high school students. The subject I was given to speak on is "public speaking," which is pretty broad.  I'm going to tailor it to speaking in public for interviews and do in class examples of how kids can "control" what others think of them by mastering their body language and eye contact.  I spoke to this age group last year on networking and didn't think I did a very good job--everyone looked very bored as I spoke--but was told later I was voted one of the classes' favorite speakers.  That made me feel good.  Maybe chair slouching and crossed arms is actually high-school speak for "You Rock!"  (Or not...)

I'm teaching a magazine writing class this Saturday for which I've been prepping all week.  So far I'm up to 20 handouts per person.  The class size will run 15-20 people, so I've been giving my printer quite the workout.  I'm hoping there may be some sort of copying stipend available through the University. But if not, I'll just suck it up. I'd rather present needed information that people can take home versus worrying about reimbursement.

My class is 3 hours long and I can't decide if I have enough material to fill the hours, or if I'm trying to pack too much in. This is my first time teaching this particular workshop and it's hard to judge accurately until I've taught the class at least once.  Plus,  a lot depends on class interaction.  I try to encourage as much talking/questions/discussion as possible-- makes it more interesting than watching me yak for three hours.

Nothing much else going on.  E-mail didn't come back until early this morning but thank God, it's back. Blair is working all hours and the cats are still trying to hang out on the new bedding.  The floor people are coming Friday to install the heated floor and if I can get my general contractor to call me back and come in for taping and drywall work, all will be right with the world.