What You Say May Come Back to Bite You...

I am half amused/half mortified at the responses I've received from my "Sick of Volunteering" post two days ago. A few friends e-mailed me and wrote, "Hey, I'm sorry I haven't gotten ________ to you or never followed up on ______." They were extremely sweet and concerned they had caused me stress. The funny part is that I wasn't even remotely thinking of these people when I made that post. The mortifying part is they didn't know know that and may not believe me when I tell them that really, it isn't them...

No more boo-hooing. I have it too good in life to moan and groan. Proof of this being that today for the first time in almost two weeks our house hit the 75 degree mark. Whopee! I'm hoping this means our AC unit is on its way back to life. If we can get one or two days of lower temperatures, I think we'll be back in business without having to spend money on a duct-work overhaul.

I now have 4 hours before I need to leave for my writers critique group and I have about 8 hours of work piled on my desk beside me, so I best get started.

Hugs to all my wonderful friends for the sweet notes they sent me.

Dena

Um...sorry.

Well. That was quite the little hissy fit I threw on-line yesterday wasn't it? I thought about deleting it but eh, you had to find out sooner or later I'm not perfect so you might as well start dealing with the pain and astonishment of it all now. (It's okay. I'm here for you.)

Things perked up later in the day. I think I found a replacement speaker for me at JobLink which eases the guilt of cancelling. Also, part of my volunteer work yesterday involved setting up speaking schedules for two authors who are going to speak to the community on behalf of the WGOT (Writers Group of the Triad) and when I spoke to one author she was so cheerful and gracious that it put me in a much better frame of mind.  

I'm in high spirits today. In an effort to combat the tired feeling I mentioned in an earlier blog I've been going to bed early. VERY early. Like at 9 PM. But I've been getting in a full 8 hours and I feel fantastic.  No more nodding head syndrome, no more forcing myself on to the next task. Instead, I feel rested and energized. It makes a huge difference throughout the day. 

Still running. Was out this morning and Sunday morning for 52 minutes which is probably around 5 miles. I hesitate to track my mileage because once I know how far something is, I psych myself out. "It's 3 miles as soon as I hit that stop sign. That's good enough. Maybe I'll stop." Where if  I don't know how far I've run, I'll keep running.

This month my goal is simply to run 4x/week. Come September, I'll need to take it up to 5 days and increase my time.

I better get a lot of sleep before then. ;)

Sick of Volunteering

I am sick of volunteering, sick of giving my time and services away for free. I know that's  a terrible thing to say and I also know it's coming from a morning of frustration, spent at my desk spending hours wrapping up itty-bitty tasks and details not directly related to my work or income.

I certainly don't want my life to be just about money, and it isn't, but I am just burnt. It seems like in every group there is always the core group of 3-4 people who do all the work and, inevitably, I end up in that core group. I am tired of making phone calls, tired of being the one to follow-up on details, and sick to death of seemingly being one of only 6 people on the planet capable of following through on my word.  Where the **** is everyone else???

 This is my own fault, I know. I'm the one that agreed to the roles and responsibilities so I have no one to blame but myself. And the work sounds so meager when I agree to it. Sure, I can make a couple of phone calls. Why, it will only take 10 minutes to type up those notes. And on and on until I've screwed myself.

Just last Friday I found myself agreeing to speak to a networking group of unemployed persons at our city's JobLink center.  I couldn't say no. I used to work there so I know how hard it is to find qualified not to mention interesting speakers. Plus, the people there looking for work try so hard and a little motivation would take them a long way. Plus, look at all I have in life. It would be selfish of me not to give back. So I said yes.

I hung up the phone and it hit me what I'd done. The JobLink center is 50 minutes away from where I live and I'd drive in on a day when I have no other appointments in Greensboro.  That's over an hour and a half drive to speak, for free, for 45 minutes. That's a lot of work time wasted.

I wrestled with it all weekend, guilt doing a number on me.  (I hate backing out of things I've given my word on). But the event is over a month away and there's time to find a replacement so I called today and cancelled. I have mixed feelings--relief, because I didn't have the time to fool with putting a speech together, anger at myself that I agreed to it instead of just saying "no" in the first place, and of course, guilt because I backed out. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have about another hour's worth of volunteer work to do.  My new motto: "Just say NO." 

Gardens, Birds & Air Conditioning

A friend who reads my blog asked me the other day how our garden was doing. Which was helpful because, until they mentioned it, I forgot that we had indeed planted a garden this year. 

I walked out back this morning and visited the dry, dusty clump of earth we had oh-so-optimistically called "garden" in early June. Dehydrated tendrils of dying tomato plants lay limply along the ground.  Skeletal remains of what was once rosemary, basil and oregano disintegrated in front of my eyes as a light breeze stirred them. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Apparently there's something to that "watering" thing. I feel bad, both for the plants and for us. We so badly want to be grow-our-own-vegetable type people and instead we're on the 10 Most Wanted list for people who mistreat their produce.

On the bright side, the birds have relented and are eating from our bird feeder. We haven't actually witnessed this, but the food level has gone down. Occasionally we'll spy a bird sitting atop the feeder and while we call the cats to the window and root for the bird to eat, it inevitably flies away. Maybe it caught a glimpse of the garden and got scared .  

We're in air-conditioning limbo right now. The heat index has been around 100-105 for the past week and we can't get the house below 80.  I'm afraid to see what our electric bill will be this month with both AC units running non-stop. We had repairmen over who said it may just be our unit can't keep up with the heat. I'm not sure I buy that, as our units have always kept up with heat, no problem, and I've noticed the air isn't blowing as strong as it used to. But I'm willing to ride the heat wave out and see if temperatures indoors return to normal. If not, we may need to replace our ductwork and you all know how much I enjoy having repairmen around.

But I've a new strategy for dealing with contractors. I'll just direct their attention to the garden of the dead and insinuate that's where they'll end up if they don't do their work in a timely and professional manner.

 Stay cool.