Trapped Without Technology

If anyone is reading this, send the Geek Squad immediately to my home as I have somehow managed to delete, hide, or banish to the outer reaches of the netherworld my outgoing e-mail server. In an attempt (and yes, I should have known better) to fix the problem with my dena@kissmykittybutt.com e-mail account, I somehow managed to set it up so that ALL my e-mail accounts recieve mail, but I can't send messages out. 

Not only that, but the phone saga continues. For those new to this drama, it goes something like this:

The phone rings in my house. I go to answer it but receive a "Welcome. Please wait..." message on my cordless phone. Meanwhile, the answering machine has picked up and VIP is leaving a message for me. I need to talk to VIP so I bound up the stairs like a bunny on crack, only to pick up the upstairs handheld and receive the same message. Augh!

Sometimes I'm allowed to answer the call only to find the phone immediately hangs up on whomever I'm talking to. I turn to my cell phone but guess what? No service! 

So I'm in a house with iffy phones and no outgoing e-mail. As you might have guessed, I am breathing through a paper bag as I type this, assuring myself it will all work out.

The way it will work out is I'll ambush Blair tonight and make him deal with my mistakes. It's one of the little perks that come with being married to me. I refuse, REFUSE, to get on the line with any form of help service. I feel like a dunce and never know the answers to their questions, ("Ma'am, let's start slow. If you could just tell me your server ID and date of primary installation along with in order of age the 5 least successful presidents of our nation, we'll have you back on-line in no time.")

No. Forget it. I'm not calling. We had dinner with friends Saturday night and my friend Pam feels the same. She and I both lose our minds when dealing with tech service. Our preferred method of dealing with a technology issue is to approach our husbands and yell, "The f***ing thing isn't working again!"

I consider myself a modern, capable, self-sufficient woman in most areas of my life but I'm telling you, if not for Blair I think I'd revert back to smoke signals for sending messages. 

Surely it's faster and more reliable than dealing with tech help.

Home Makeover?

Blair and I spent an hour plus today reviewing finances and outlining our financial goals, plans, and dreams for the future. Since we're no longer funneling money into the cabin fund, we needed to make some decisions on where the extra money should go. Once Blair vetoed my idea of just handing it over to me and letting fate float the money where it may, we got serious.

Number one priority is the money pit, aka, our home. I love our 100-year-old home with its 6 (non-working) fireplaces, hardwood floors, high ceilings and wide, worn staircase. I do not love 6 non-working fireplaces, outside doors with cracks big enough for a small cat to crawl under, 30-year-old carpet in the front bedroom and popcorn ceilings. (To whomever sprayed popcorn texture in our historic home: When I find you, I will hurt you.) 

So now we have a list of home projects that include:

• Making 3 of the fireplaces operational. (This will need to be done one at a time. Expensive as crap to drop liners, plus they are coal-burning fireplaces, very small, and needing special gas systems.)
• Replacing the back and side doors.
• Redoing the front bedroom into a writing room for me. Next week will be phase one as Blair scrapes the popcorn texture off the ceiling. A messy and thankless job if ever there was one.

Longer term projects include buying rugs for the hall (It's been 13 years so it's probably time...), adding artwork around the house, building a back screened-in porch/deck, scraping popcorn textures and painting ceilings throughout the house (preferably without leading to divorce), new light fixtures for the hall, redoing the library so it actually resembles a library with bookshelves and furniture that fits the room, ... The list goes on.

We're also looking at taking a trip to Egypt in May. I know, rather random, but Rockingham Community College is putting together a group tour and apparently we've crossed some line, somewhere, where we now consider it fun versus lame to travel with a group of people from our area to a foreign land. We're eyeballing expense and I am NOT happy about leaving the cats for 11-12 days, but I suppose I'll learn to live with it.

Of course, we'll see what pans out and what doesn't. Blair's car is probably in its last year or two of service so we've started saving for that expense, and God only knows what will cave, crash, or fall in around the house on any given day. Still, it's a good life.

And it will be a stellar life once we get those fireplaces working... ;)

Reunion Pictures

A few photos from the 20 year high school reunion...

This is me and my beautiful cousin Amy, preparing to go to the Friday night casual (read: bar) reunion:

This is Amy and me on night two, before the dinner reunion. Note how we have exchanged curly/straight hair styles.

Amy, me, and Brett, who I've been friends with since we met on the bus on the way to kindergarten.

Best Birthday Gift Ever

When it comes to giving gifts, people fall into one of two categories. There are the well-meaning but uncreative people like me who, while wishing to give a good gift, invariably end a shopping trip for a friend's birthday or graduation with a scented candle and a gift-card to Starbucks. I mean well, but I'm just not creative when it comes to gift giving.

Then there are people like my friend Kay. Kay is the QUEEN of gift-giving. She's the type of person that if you mention once, in passing, that you've always wanted to try rare macadamia nuts grown in Hong-Kong, flavored in Peru, and shipped from a tiny store in Maui, she will spend weeks tracking down those exact nuts to surprise you with on your birthday. Plus, she'll probably have had the growers sign the nuts and include a picture of their plantation where the nuts came from. She's just incredible that way.

Yesterday before our run, Kay handed me a bright pink bag stuffed with tissue paper and stated she was giving me a belated birthday present. Inside the bag was the coolest birthday gift, ever. A hot pink running sun visor with KMKB in fancy cursive font on the front. Get it? Kiss My Kitty Butt... the title of my upcoming book. Kay had read my blog where I'd mentioned (again, causally, in passing) that it would be cool to have Kiss My Kitty Butt fashion wear and she wanted to be the first to offer a piece of the coutre attire. I LOVE IT.

She also gave me a gift card to a gourmet chocolate shop and a hilarious card that shows a cat staring into a blender that holds water and three fish, and a furry paw is reaching for the "blend" button.

Chocolate, cat card, and cat-based fashion attire. Pretty hard to beat. I'm going to have to do some long, hard thinking for her birthday because a scented candle is just not going to cut it.