Spouses fight about different things. Kids... money... and whether the man was lying or just being nice when he said you didn't look fat in your new dress.
Blair and I are currently engaged in the reoccurring passive-aggressive "Who Will Be The One To Empty The Kitchen Trashcan" battle. The rules are simple:
- Never admit you've actually noticed the trashcan is full to bursting and needs to be emptied.
- Instead, earn points by continuing to fold, stuff, and tuck garbage into every available nook and crevice.
- However, you LOSE points if your significant other catches you folding, stuffing, or tucking instead of emptying.
- Strategy is employed if, while stuffing, you are able to convince your spouse that a) "There's still room for more," or b) "I'll take care of this in just a minute," and then walk away.
- The game is won when your opponent either breaks down and takes the trash out due to there being no more room or when they pass out over the trash due to the toxic fumes created by the mixture of old Windex bottles and banana peels. (Note: Upon awakening, the passer outer must still admit defeat and be the one to empty the trash.)
- Bonus points are available if, when the trash is being taken outside, you can sneak into the kitchen and place a fresh bag in the can, thereby earning the right to claim that "we emptied the garbage together."
My road today is fraught with danger. Blair left for work and the can is close to spilling over. Well-played, my love. However, I am the master stuffer, so the game is not over yet.
And even if it is, I am very close to winning the "I used the last bathroom tissue but I'm going to wait until you break down and replace the box" war. So there.