Dating Diaries: “I Had Another Crier”

My friend J. is also doing the online dating thing. He emailed the other day to share a long and disturbing story of a woman who just started sobbing in the middle of dinner on their first date. We decided she was either mentally unbalanced or—and kudos to her if this was it—she was executing a clever ploy to excuse herself from the date.

We both kind of wrote it off as “Huh. Whatever.” moment. Then J. texted me yesterday:

J: I had another crier! This one broke down and said "I just love the Bible and Jesus so much..." in between sobs...

Me: Oh. My. God. How are you attracting these women?? You really need to refine your screening process.

 J: I know! I guess I could put a clause that says: if you think you were born more than once, swipe left! This one waited until I'd bought her two sushi dinners before she went New Testament on my ass.

Uh, ladies? Breaking into sobs on a date may indicate—and this is just a hunch but hear me out—that you are perhaps not ready to date.

Think about it.