Dating Diaries: First Date Agenda

Lots of people go on a date with a hidden agenda—inspire passion; find a spouse; score a free meal, but how many women are actually provided with an outlined agenda for how a date will proceed?

Digging through old emails, I found this gem. This came from an intelligent and witty PhD that I met one night when I was out with girlfriends. We had mutual friends in common and he was writing a book. He got my email by asking if I’d be willing to read the first chapter and provide feedback. I agreed to look at the chapter and we made plans to meet for dinner to discuss. He must have pegged me instantly as the Type A personality I am, because this email had me cracking up from the moment I started reading it. I’ve copied it almost verbatim below, changing/obscuring a few details to protect the innocent. One of my favorites.  

Hi Dena:

Thank you for your comments. I went to your website and enjoyed your blog posts, though you are so active/busy it is a bit scary. How about I give you an item for your blog..."So I went on this date with a PhD engineer, and he sent me an agenda for our Discussion....”

Agenda for Meeting (Date) at Sticks and Stones

Date/Time: Friday, 6:20 PM

I.  Greetings and Small Talk(Interests, travel, etc.)

II.  Order food and drinks

III.  Business & Discussion Items

      A.  X's Book, and potential collaboration

      B.  Dating checklists for potential partners

      C.  Objective: Mostly just fun, getting your place repaired by eager men or partner seeking?

      D.  Should we feel guilty for being too picky? So many less attractive people want dates too.

      E.  Can one partner meet all our needs or should polyamory be an option?

IV. Conclusions and closing comments: Where do we go from here. If nowhere, is the silent treatment (no response is no interest) to be used or is it best to be direct?

Best Wishes,


Classic, right?