Smug Marrieds: Dinner Conversation

As we're sitting at the table last night, eating dinner, I feel a tickle around the back of my neck. I reach up to scratch my neck and knock a small black bug onto my shoulder. Startled, I slap at the bug and manage to knock it down once again. Right...down...my...bra. 

Screeching, I stand up and start digging around inside my bra, searching for the bug. When I finally find it, I fling it to the floor. 

Blair, meanwhile, has been sitting calmly across the table from me, chewing his food. Once I sit back down he smirks then says, "Lord, woman. If you want some attention you don't need to just whip it out like that. All you have to do is ask." 

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

Cheers,

Dena 

Smug Marrieds: A Morning Conversation

This morning, 6 a.m. I'm lounging in bed while Blair gets dressed for work. We are discussing the cats. Olivia (aka BIG KITTY) has been sick. 

Me: "Did Olivia eat this morning?"

Blair: "You know, I saw her out but I didn't actually see her eat. Lucy ate, though."

Me: "There's a shock. Well, I skipped Olivia's pain pill last night. I'll give it to her this morning. Did you give Lucy her pill?"

Blair, rolling his eyes: "I tried. She wouldn't take it. All she wanted was the tuna I was packing for my lunch."

Me: "Why didn't you just put the pill in the tuna and feed it to her that way? That would have been so easy." 

PAUSE. 

Blair: "Woman, don't give me no lip."

Hope all of your mornings started out just as well! 

Cheers,

Dena

Love Ya, Mean It

Last night. Couch. Reading Wall Street Journal. Some article about buying the perfect Valentine's day gift. (A short red trench coat for the ladies with rosettes hugging the bottom was one option. Really, WSJ? Really??)

Me: "We're not buying each other cards for Valentine's day, are we?"

Blair (without looking up from his section of the paper): "God, no."

Me: Excellent. I love you, honey.

Blair (still not looking up): Love you more. 

It may not be for everyone, but it works for us. 

Cheers,

Dena