What You Say May Come Back to Bite You...

I am half amused/half mortified at the responses I've received from my "Sick of Volunteering" post two days ago. A few friends e-mailed me and wrote, "Hey, I'm sorry I haven't gotten ________ to you or never followed up on ______." They were extremely sweet and concerned they had caused me stress. The funny part is that I wasn't even remotely thinking of these people when I made that post. The mortifying part is they didn't know know that and may not believe me when I tell them that really, it isn't them...

No more boo-hooing. I have it too good in life to moan and groan. Proof of this being that today for the first time in almost two weeks our house hit the 75 degree mark. Whopee! I'm hoping this means our AC unit is on its way back to life. If we can get one or two days of lower temperatures, I think we'll be back in business without having to spend money on a duct-work overhaul.

I now have 4 hours before I need to leave for my writers critique group and I have about 8 hours of work piled on my desk beside me, so I best get started.

Hugs to all my wonderful friends for the sweet notes they sent me.

Dena

Um...sorry.

Well. That was quite the little hissy fit I threw on-line yesterday wasn't it? I thought about deleting it but eh, you had to find out sooner or later I'm not perfect so you might as well start dealing with the pain and astonishment of it all now. (It's okay. I'm here for you.)

Things perked up later in the day. I think I found a replacement speaker for me at JobLink which eases the guilt of cancelling. Also, part of my volunteer work yesterday involved setting up speaking schedules for two authors who are going to speak to the community on behalf of the WGOT (Writers Group of the Triad) and when I spoke to one author she was so cheerful and gracious that it put me in a much better frame of mind.  

I'm in high spirits today. In an effort to combat the tired feeling I mentioned in an earlier blog I've been going to bed early. VERY early. Like at 9 PM. But I've been getting in a full 8 hours and I feel fantastic.  No more nodding head syndrome, no more forcing myself on to the next task. Instead, I feel rested and energized. It makes a huge difference throughout the day. 

Still running. Was out this morning and Sunday morning for 52 minutes which is probably around 5 miles. I hesitate to track my mileage because once I know how far something is, I psych myself out. "It's 3 miles as soon as I hit that stop sign. That's good enough. Maybe I'll stop." Where if  I don't know how far I've run, I'll keep running.

This month my goal is simply to run 4x/week. Come September, I'll need to take it up to 5 days and increase my time.

I better get a lot of sleep before then. ;)

Sick of Volunteering

I am sick of volunteering, sick of giving my time and services away for free. I know that's  a terrible thing to say and I also know it's coming from a morning of frustration, spent at my desk spending hours wrapping up itty-bitty tasks and details not directly related to my work or income.

I certainly don't want my life to be just about money, and it isn't, but I am just burnt. It seems like in every group there is always the core group of 3-4 people who do all the work and, inevitably, I end up in that core group. I am tired of making phone calls, tired of being the one to follow-up on details, and sick to death of seemingly being one of only 6 people on the planet capable of following through on my word.  Where the **** is everyone else???

 This is my own fault, I know. I'm the one that agreed to the roles and responsibilities so I have no one to blame but myself. And the work sounds so meager when I agree to it. Sure, I can make a couple of phone calls. Why, it will only take 10 minutes to type up those notes. And on and on until I've screwed myself.

Just last Friday I found myself agreeing to speak to a networking group of unemployed persons at our city's JobLink center.  I couldn't say no. I used to work there so I know how hard it is to find qualified not to mention interesting speakers. Plus, the people there looking for work try so hard and a little motivation would take them a long way. Plus, look at all I have in life. It would be selfish of me not to give back. So I said yes.

I hung up the phone and it hit me what I'd done. The JobLink center is 50 minutes away from where I live and I'd drive in on a day when I have no other appointments in Greensboro.  That's over an hour and a half drive to speak, for free, for 45 minutes. That's a lot of work time wasted.

I wrestled with it all weekend, guilt doing a number on me.  (I hate backing out of things I've given my word on). But the event is over a month away and there's time to find a replacement so I called today and cancelled. I have mixed feelings--relief, because I didn't have the time to fool with putting a speech together, anger at myself that I agreed to it instead of just saying "no" in the first place, and of course, guilt because I backed out. 

Now if you'll excuse me, I have about another hour's worth of volunteer work to do.  My new motto: "Just say NO." 

Workflow

I'm in limbo this week. At the end of last week I had three different people contact me and tell me to "get ready" as each had a "rush" project they needed my help with. 

Money, money, money! I completed my other work and now I sit, hands poised over my keyboard, waiting for the "Go" signal. But the phone remains silent and no e-mails appear. Where is the work?

That's the nature of freelancing. Sometimes the promised work comes in, sometimes it doesn't.  I remain confident these three projects will materialize and I'm willing to bet they'll show up on the same day with almost identical deadlines. Never say the Universe doesn't have a sense of humor. But that's okay. While I don't necessarily like working under pressure, I thrive on it. Put an emergency in front of me and I am on it. It's when I have 5 weeks to complete a project and feel no sense of urgency that I lollygag around and do less than my best work.

They're fun projects too, fun meaning different. One is editing web site content for a local business, one is editing an inspirational book and one is writing "message on hold" phone text for a vet.

Meanwhile, I'm working on my public speaking book, writing some really bad picture book text (but I'm having fun with it) and setting up interviews for upcoming articles. Yesterday, for the first time in the 3 years I've been freelancing, I had someone decline an interview with me. I'd e-mailed a jewelry workshop teacher in NY and he very politely said he would prefer to pass on the interview. Well! My curious (read: nosy) nature makes me wonder why he passed but no harm done. I e-mailed someone else and now wait to hear back.

It's 98 degrees here today with a heat index of 105. Our AC at home can't keep up and upstairs it's reading 88 degrees and 77 downstairs. At least we have AC.  I can't imagine withstanding this heat without it.

Everyone keep cool.