Our Halloween Costumes for 2005

For those of you new to the inner workings of the Harris household, let me offer you this insight: We hold Halloween sacred.  It's hands down our favorite holiday and we get way into all the carved jack-o-lantern (always scary, never nice), glow-in-the-dark skeletons, and fake spiderwebs there are too be found. I feel about day-after-Halloween shopping as most others feel about day-after-Thanksgiving shopping.  Great deals on dismembered hands and plastic baby spiders make me swoon with delight.

The great thing is that we live on a block were everyone is into Halloween.  Our next door neighbor has a karoke machine and plays clashing chains and spooky music so it can be heard up and down the street.  And every so often he grabs the mike and moans, "Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of little childrun!" (Halloween on our street is not for the faint of heart).

We've had some great costumes in years past.  Last year, we did an ode to Peanuts and the Great Pumpkin. We made a pumpkin patch and Blair drew an incredible to-size rendition of Snoopy as the WWII Flying Ace.  Blair dressed up as Linus (including the blanket) and informed all the trick-or-treaters that the Great Pumpkin was sure to arrive any minute.

The year before that, we had a Pirates of the Caribbean theme.  Blair hauled in 100 lbs of sand and we created our own beach with cardboard palm trees, and we had a huge treasure chest we FILLED with candy.  Seeing the look on kids faces when we opened up that chest and they saw all that candy...that was so much fun!

We've done witches and warlocks and filled a black cauldron with candy and set dry ice off beneath it, so it looked like it was brewing.  "Pumpkin' Head Man," a creation of Blairs a few years back, was very popular as well.

So suffice to say, choosing a Halloween theme is a big deal.  We spent most of lunch discussing it on Saturday and finally settled for the classic Frankenstein / mad scientist / graveyard setup.

At 6'1", Blair has a good start on the height thing so he'll be Frankenstein.  In a stunning departure from reality, I'll be the mad scientist.  We'll create a graveyard out of cardboard (cardboard is our friend) and maybe bring in some dry ice to have wafting around my laboratory table.  We bought a glowing skull at Target and have some beakers we can set out and we'll figure out a way to make stuff bubble in them.  All we have to do is hunt down a white smock for my lab coat.  My job is to warn kids the monster will not give them candy unless they say the magic words: "Trick or Treat!"

We'll spend next weekend decorating the house.  I've got 3 bins full of goodies, although I think a lot is at the point of needing replaced. They just don't make werewolf cut outs like they used to.

Keeping House

I owe an apology to all the parents, single mom's and busy people of the world.  But first, an admission.

I'm a clean house snob.  There, I've said it.  I don't expect perfection and I'm willing, especially for people with kids, to overlook fingerprints on the coffee table and toys scattered around a room.  My own home is not spotless (and with 2 cats shedding non-stop, it never will be).   But I admit I never really "got" people who kept a messy home.  My thought is, if you want a clean home, pick up the Pledge and Windex and get busy.  Once it's clean it's not that big a deal to maintain it.  Toss in 2 hours a week and you'll be fine.

And it's not that I mind being in other people's messy homes.  As long as there's a clean mug for coffee and a spot cleared for me to sit, I'm good to go.  But it amazed me how people could live surrounded by the clutter.  I almost can't think straight if my house isn't clean.

Which is where my apology comes in.  Blair and I have been swamped for the last 3 weeks now.  We see each other for about 40-60 minutes each night and maybe 20 minutes in the morning.  He's working non-stop and I'm on the go as well.  And the house is suffering for it.  We haven't given it a good cleaning in over 2 weeks now.  My excuse?  I can't find the time. 

I have become what I formally mocked (isn't that always the way?).  My stovetop, at the moment, is an embarrassment.  The cat was digging in the plant the other day and dirt is scattered across the floor and I've yet to get around to sweeping it up (Just as well.  The minute I clean it she starts flinging dirt again.  She thinks it's a game and she's excited that she's winning).  There are spiderwebs all over the outside of our home and I pass by them and justify not wiping them off with the thought, "It's good ambiance for Halloween."  I need help, people.  Do you hear me?  HELP.

And that thing about not having the time?  Just an excuse.  I watched TV for 45 minutes last night.  I could have been cleaning then.  But I was tired and the last thing I felt like doing was running a feather duster along the baseboards.

So my house is (deep breath Dena, you can do this)---dirty. I think I'm near my breaking point though.  Tomorrow is Blair and my 11-year anniversary.   He's taking the day off work (it IS a Saturday) and we'll spend the day together.  But to start the day off right, and truly enjoy our time together, I know what I have to do.

I'll be up at 6am, Pledge and Windex in hand, getting busy.

"Anti-Stalking Services" Now Available

Ha!  I am cracking up.  My dear friend Pam e-mailed me that she had posted a review of Lessons In Stalking on Amazon, so I went to check it out.  The reivew is charming--thank you, Pam.  But I had to laugh at what else popped up.  Under the "Customers Interested In This Title May Also be Interested In..." heading, Amazon has listed "Free Hunting Gear" and "Anti-Stalking Services - Services offered from the UK's leading authority in stalking cases." 

How quickly I fell from "cat author" to "potential menance to society."

Anyway, you can check out Pam's nice review of my book here. 

And just to demonstrate the complete uselessness of numbers, check this out.  It's my book's rating copied off Amazon.  Somehow I moved in 1 day from being over the million mark (the higher the number, the worse the score) to book number 137,016 today.  All that with only 2 books sold off Amazon.  Maybe all those anti-stalking people in the UK are checking out my site.

Amazon.com Sales Rank:

Today: #137,016 in Books
Yesterday: #1,014,564 in Books

Decorating Diaries - The "Before" Bathroom Pics

My evenings for the next week will more than likely be spent scraping wallpaper glue from our master bathroom walls.  For those who've been following along, we are finally--after 10 years--letting go of the blue nightmare and gutting the bathroom.

The problem (one of the many) is that the wallpaper has been up there for about 30 years and is resisting removal.  We can tear the front layer off, but then must wet the walls down and scrape the glue, one inch at a time. 

We've also run into trouble with the floor.  The people we wanted to install our heated floor can't order in the tile that we want.  Since they can't order the tile, they won't do the tile work.  If they're not doing the tile work, they recommend they not be the ones to do the heated floor. 

My contractor hasn't worked with anyone who has installed heated floors so a new search must begin.  I've put a call into our cabinet woman--since she designs bathrooms I'm hoping she'll have a name for us.

Meanwhile, the scraping continues.

Here are a few more "before" shots of the bathroom: How sad it will be to lose the lovely baby blue toilet, shower, and carpet.  (What were the people before us who installed these things thinking?  It was the 70's, so maybe it was the drugs talking...)