Can't Sleep

It's 11:30 at night and I've lain awake for over an hour before caving in and admitting sleep is just not in the picture anytime soon. I blame it on TV. We watched So You Think You Can Dance right before bed. TV always revs me up and I get excited for the dancers in this show, so it was a lethal combination.

My friend Trisha suffers from insomnia and I don't know how she gets through it. I was up at 5 today, it's late and I know my brain is too fuzzy to do any real work, even though I have a manuscript to critique and a new column to write.  TV is a definite no-no. I don't even really feel like reading, but have grabbed one of the many middle-grade novels members of my writers group have loaned me and hope reading Bruce Coville's My Teacher Glows In The Dark will lull me to sleep.

My guilt factor also apparently goes into overdrive after 10 pm. I'm up, so  I should be cleaning out my e-mail inbox, organizing files, roughing out my article, working on my novel, combing a cat, doing online research... You've had moments like this, I'm sure.

More than likely what will happen is I'll cave to the urge to go downstairs and eat a banana, read the entire Coville book, then go back to bed and lay there until sleep takes me.  

Maybe warm milk will help. I tried that once when I was single and lived alone. Had the heat up too high and burned the milk. Reminds me I need to add "learn to cook," to my list of midnight madness.

Sweet dreams to you and yours.

42 Minutes and Still Ticking...

I went running last night with my neighbor and her husband (I'll call them Roy and Macy, just so they have names).  I found it to be a HUGE motivator, running with other people. Roy set the pace and Macy and I followed behind. We ran for 42 minutes, about 4 miles.

What I found was that running SLOW is the key. And basing my run on time versus distance helps a lot. If I know, for example, I have to run 4 miles, I'll try to run as fast a pace as I can so I can be done with it. Running for 30 minutes though, is running for 30 minutes. Fast or slow, I'm out there the same amount of time. And I was amazed how much longer I could go with a slower pace.

Also a huge help was running with other people. I haven't done that since college when my friend Trisha and I used to run together. When I'm alone, I'll stop when I get tired. But when I'm with someone else, my competitive nature kicks in and I'll hang in there with them.

Of course, there was payback. My legs were sore once I stopped running. I'm hoping that will ease up with time and practice.

I'm going to run a 3-mile race in Kernersville July 4th and am really considering trying to do this half marathon.  I'm going to give it a month of running every other day and see how I feel. 

What Do You Want to Do With Your Life?

I had a little "come to Jesus," moment this morning, as my friend Trisha likes to say.  I was thinking about all the "opportunities" that had come my way lately and whether these items really are opportunities or me just flailing blindly around in the pool of life, searching for something to cling to.  I suspect they are a bit of both.

Look at what I've blogged about for the last few days.  Substitute teaching...running a marathon. Hello--where did those come from? There are also some items I haven't blogged about.

In pursuit of the possible side career as a speaker, I'm signing up in August for a Dale Carnegie course. (Trisha warned me it's a cult but I'm aware of that and--frankly--think I would make an excellent cult member. I excel at following directions). A member of my networking group called me yesterday because she thought I was a member of the Greensboro Merchants Association and wanted me to be on her team. I'm not a member but she got me to thinking maybe I should be--more networking means more potential writing and speaking assignments coming my way.  I'm also working my way through Advanced manuals in Toastmasters, trying to earn an advanced speakers designation and just a host of other little things.

My point is, I think I'm grabbing at all these things, hoping one of them will "stick," and I'll figure out what I really want to do to with my life.

I do think writing is my niche. I've no plans to leave that. But almost all of my income comes from magazine writing and while I enjoy it and am good at it, I don't recall ever thinking to myself, "Hey, my life's dream is to be a famous magazine writer."

The problem is I don't know what my life's dream is at this point. Is it teaching? Writing for children? Writing non-fiction books? Humor books? One of the plus/minuses of my personality is I get very excited about whatever is set in front of me. Very good for getting me through projects, but I'm also easily distracted and thrown off track from the end goal--whatever that may be.

I think part of the problem is if I face up to the fact that my "dream" is to, let's say, write books for a living, that may mean I need to refocus my life and give up a lot of what I've been working hard for these past couple of years. Namely, building a reputation as a freelance writer. What if I give up my income, my ego-pleasing "Look--my name is in a magazine!" moments and my columns to stay home and write said book and nothing happens?  Aaaauuugh!  I am not a process person. I am a "let's see the end result" person.

Just talk for now. But we'll see where it leads. Meanwhile, let's throw it open to the crowd. Are you following your life's dream? Do you know what it is? Care to share your process? We're all ears... 

Running A Half Marathon

Apparently there is some form of drug growing in, near, or around my house that is embedding me with a sense  of "I can do anything!" bravado that will more than likely end in my downfall.  First substitute teaching and now this.

My neighbor M.  is training to run a half marathon--13 miles--in December in South Carolina. Her husband is a marathon runner and is one of those people who when he says he is going for a "quick run," means he's going to pound out 10-15 miles.  Riiiight.

But M., who is not by any means in tip-top shape, is training for this half-marathon. She's focusing on her time. Right now, she's running 61 minutes w/out stopping and her goal is to run a little longer each time.

It has always been a dream of mine to complete a marathon.  I've never actually done anything about it, but it's still a dream. Blair doesn't get this. "Why would you want to exhaust and torture yourself for some race?" he asks.

"So you can say that you did it," I answer.  "For the satisfaction of knowing that you accomplished your goal. for bragging rights that you've done something few other people can say they have done. You do it for the magnificence of it all!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

 About this time I notice he's hiding from me upstairs.

I of course have to map out a plan. If I start off at 3 miles (which is what I can run now before requiring medical attention) and up my running amount by 1/2 mile every 8-10 days, I can be ready by December.  I think I'd need to run at least every other day. Yikes. That's a whole lot of exercise I'm not sure I can commit to.

The other thing I'd need to do is to start running outside. I love the air-conditioned world of my treadmill, plus I have the ability to lose the hills if I so desire. But treadmill running is soooo much easier than real-world running.

My neighbor may have the right idea with focusing on time instead of miles, at least to start with.  I'm going to try running with her one or two nights this week and see how I do. If my heart bursts, we'll know the half-marathon is out. If I hang with her...hmmmm.  Maybe a half-marathon is in my future.

I definitely need to scout out around the house and destroy those drugs.