Women have a bad habit of putting ourselves down when talking to each other. Conversations are liberally sprinkled with phrases like, “My hair looks awful today,” or “I hate my clothes. I feel like I look fat in everything,” or even “I feel like a bad mom/friend/sister/spouse.” It too often feels like a competition among women over who can be the most “humble,” by putting themselves down the most.

My friend Christie has the best response when I, or others around her, start in with the negative talk. “Please don’t talk about my friend that way,” she’ll say. It’s a great wake-up call. I wouldn’t talk about other people the way I too often talk about myself.