New Project - Pet Horoscopes

I was interviewed this morning to write a new humor column for a magazine that goes out to vets. I'll write the back page "Petascopes" column where I inform the vets the horoscope for the animals who fall under each sign they should be examining that day. It's the first project in a long while I've been excited about.  It's funny and quirky and my mind is already brimming with a million little odd associations and asides I can make in the column. 

The magazine also writes about leadership and better business practices and networking and the editor mentioned possibly even bringing me in to conduct some networking or public speaking training.  Great fun!

 I'm wrapping up projects for the week.  I dub this "Public Speaking Week." I've got a 5-minute speech I'm giving tomorrow in Toastmasters, a 20-minute speech I'm presenting to a Networking group Thursday night, and a 3-hour public speaking class on Saturday.  I am the original "yada-yada-yada" woman.

But now I must venture out of the house to the library.  I still need to pick up To Kill A Mockingbird. 

Proof of Procrastination: Decorating Diaries

If I needed any proof other than my incomplete bathroom to document how repairs are dragging out, now I have it. My cat Olivia is terrified of strangers.  Not only will she not come near them, she will literally not come out when people are in the house.  Close friends of mine who visit often have never seen her.  She will go without eating before she will show her face when a stranger is around. When my mom visited for a week, she would only come out a night, after we all went to bed.

Which is why I almost fell off my chair when she came strolling into the breakfast nook this evening to eat her dinner while the tile guy was still in the house.  And not only was he in the house, he was being kind of loud.  There was a saw set up outside the front door, the front door banged as he came in, and noise issued from the bathroom as he maneuvered tile around in there.  

She looked at me like, "Hey. Wass up?" and ate some food and gave herself a little bath before wandering into the next room.

WHA--????  Okay, if my CAT is used to your presence as a common occurrence, you have been in  my house waaaaay too long.  Get out.

Speaking of which, my split personality showed up again this morning.  I placed a phone call at 10:30 am to announce that it was, indeed, 10:30 AM on a Monday and why was there no one in my home working on my bathroom? My voice mail said exactly that, along with the oft-repeated announcement that I wanted this job DONE. I asked her to call me and haven't received a return phone call, although the tile guy did show up about 10 minutes after I left the message.  (Luck). And he did stay until 6pm tonight.  I don't know if that's out of the goodness of his heart or guilt at being late or my contractor called him and said, "You need to stay."  And frankly, I don't care. 

I want the job DONE.  And get out. You're freakin' my cat out. 

Need Cooking Advice? Feel free to e-mail me...

Slap a bad accent on me, let me drop a chicken on the floor then put it back in the pot and you can call  me Julia Child.  Hel-lo!  Who made not one, not two, but THREE delicious dishes today?  That's right.  Me.  Little Miss Cooking Challenged. 

It's been a banner day, food wise.  I started out the morning with Wheatberry Muffins.  Lots of yummy things in them like fresh blueberries, whole wheat flour, and rolled oats.  Scrumptious.  

Still riding high on that success, at noon I made a 2-bean chili.  (Okay, so basically all I had to do was cut up an onion and open cans of black beans, pinto beans, and diced tomatoes, but hey--I had to add a few spices and bring it all to a boil then a simmer, so it still counts as cooking).

Verdict on that from the husband who likes his food plain and scrunches up his face if he spies chopped up bits of vegetables in his food? "This is great.  I'd eat it again."

Now the angels were singing. Only one thing could be bring me more glory: Chocolate.

You see, on Monday we both got a hankering for chocolate so I pulled out an organic brownie mix I'd picked up at the store.  Did you know that organic brownies don't taste anywhere near as good as the sugary full of bad-stuff for you brownie products?  Yeah, I probably should  have seen that one coming. I made the brownies and we spent the rest of the night brushing our teeth, trying to remove the aftertaste.

Which is why this afternoon, at my husband's request, I made the "real" thing.  Cut open a prepackaged mix, added egg water and oil and threw that baby in the oven at 325 for 28 minutes.  The result was brownie perfection.

So yeah, I'm thinking my next book will probably be a cook book.  One of those, "Oh, I used to be afraid to cook but now I'm a goddess in the kitchen" testimonials. And I'll tell cute stories next to the 3-page long recipes about what a simple recipe this is so that the reader will feel like a complete ignoramus if their food doesn't turn out like mine. Then I'll book an author tour and teach Martha Stewart a thing or two about how to make a good brownie.

Sounds like a plan.  

Movie Tips

I have two movie recommendations for you. First, Capote. Blair and I agree it's the best movie we've seen in quite some time and led us into an in-depth discussion on the death penalty at dinner afterwards. Blair has never read In Cold Blood and even though I have, seeing the movie makes me want to go back and read it again.  I have not however, read To Kill A Mockingbird.  Not sure how such a major book got by me, but there you have it. Harper Lee features prominently in Capote and I'll be at the library first thing Monday to get her book. I also have never seen the movie, which fact for some reason just about gave Blair a heart attack. So after I read the book, the movie rental is a must.

Other must see movie: Crash.  We rented it last weekend and I think it should be a must-see movie for all of America.  Throws up in your face a lot of the racial preconceptions you might hold or wish you didn't hold.  It wasn't always an easy movie to watch, but it makes you think. Also points out that there just are no easy solutions or one type fits all thinking.

I'll also throw in I'm a fan of Brokeback Mountain. It's a slow-paced film, but well acted and romantic and realistic and tragic. 

Today will NOT be spent planning the England/Scotland trip.  Instead, Blair is spending the day doing taxes. (With the hopes that said refund will pay for the England/Scotland trip. <grin> ) I've got a few assignments to work on and--buoyed by my success this morning with the WheatBerry Muffins from Better Homes & Gardens which were delicious--I'm trying my hand at a new 2-bean chili recipe this afternoon.

Happy weekend to all of you.